hyejin
so, actually taeyong and the others decided to visit lucas' grave next week at saturday. but i couldn't wait, so i secretly made my way here after school.
i walked alone, the sky seemed to be down today, it was pretty dark. i looked around and some gravestones were cracked, and some looked fine. i never felt scared, bushes were shaking and the wind sounds like they were whispering to me.
i scanned the names, and i never really saw lucas' name quick. but a few minutes later, i saw it. my eyes got watery, and i tried holding those tears back. i kneeled down, and brushed my fingers on his name.
"i miss you" i said lowly.
i placed the yellow flowers down, and sat there, watched his name while does days we were together was still stuck in my mind. what if some other boy comes in my life, like lucas did. would i accept him, i shouldn't replace lucas...
"oh m-my lucas, my precious sunshine" someone sobbed behind me, i looked back and saw a woman with office clothes on. she had slight brown and mixed blonde hair, she seemed old. she kneeled down and cried, she cried a lot. i didn't knew who she was, i never saw here at the funeral.
"excuse me, do i know you?" i asked, hesitated to place my hand on her back, to comfort her. but i refused. the woman just cried there, but after a few seconds she sat back up, and looked me into the eyes. her eyes were red, because she cried a lot.
"oh- um....uh" she stuttered and wiped off the tears. "i am lucas' mother, and you are?" she asked, my eyes widened. it's lucas mother, the one who left him alone.
"what are you doing here?" i asked, felt a bit angry. "why didn't you come to his funeral" i asked.
"no need to visit him when he is dead, he needed you when he was alive" i said, i could see the pain in her eyes. but she was kunfused of something, something about me.
"excuse me, but who are you to say that?" she asked, and her palm was placed on her chest.
i bit my lips, what should i answer? his friend?
"im lucas' girlfriend" i answered, and she seemed to be so surprised. "okay, but im sorry i can still be able to visit, my son's grave because he is my son"
i realized, how much lucas still loved her, even though she left him.
"no, i am sorry. i just know what you did to him, and it was a really pathetic thing to do. but i am sure he is happy seeing you visiting him" i smiled, she smiled.
and we had a long conversation.
