"I'm driving on state lines pretending you're standing there." Beck Fuentes said with a small sigh, and shook his head at the silence from the other end of the call.
"But I know your feet will never be where my eyes fall again." He said, and finally Johnathan spoke, voice gravelly and low.
"Beck, we both know that moving on is something I've always had trouble with." He said softly, the squeak in the background telling Beck he was sitting in his fire escape, window shut.
"But this year I swear I'll get past it." He finally said into the silence, and Beck laughed once.
"Than ya know something? If I had a backyard I would bury all my memories of you in it." He said harshly, and Johnathan scoffed.
"Like you would let everything that we had die right down in the dirt." He retorted, and Beck clenched his jaw, all the anger and resentment he felt towards Johnathan bubbling to the surface.
"I wish I had the guts to say this to your face. Everything I want to say. But the past five years took everything I had and ripped it out of me." Beck spat out after a minute.
"Yeah? You used to make me feel like I was something Beck. But now? Now you make me feel like absolutely nothing." Johnathan said, voice broken at the end of his sentence. Before Beck could say a word, the call disconnected.
"I want to fall asleep and wake up four years ago." Beck said the next day to Than's cousin and his best friend Quinn.
"Why would you want that?" She asked, pushing her hair behind her ear, showcasing her engagement ring from his brother, Vincent.
"Because then we were just kids who didn't know what love was." He said softly, looking up when Than's voice sounded from the doorway.
"Or what we were digging ourselves into." He finished, and then hugged Quinn before handing Beck a piece of paper.
"This is proof, that I think about you. All the time. And honestly, they used to be love songs, songs of hope, and about you. But now, well. I want to know if you ever hear all of these sad fucking songs I write about you." Johnathan said blankly, and Quinn left the room, Beck standing up to face him.
"The past five years took everything I had and ripped it out of me, so excuse me for not keeping up." Beck said, and Than shook his head.
"I know you probably hate who I've become, I mean I'm just young and stupid." Than said, and Beck's eyes widened.
"What about it?" He asked, and Than didn't say anything.
"Look, Johnathan. I love you. I really do. You just need to grow up." He said, and Johnathan finally spoke.
"You don't get it. Young and stupid remember? That's the way I always want to be. I want to be forever a lost boy with bony knees." He said, and then walked out of the apartment, closing the door behind him.
Forever a lost boy with
Bony knees
