I'm a Payne // n.h.

Chapter 10

*2 WEEKS LATER*

Alyssa's POV

I still had feelings for Niall. I tried my best to make them go away, but the harder I tried, the more I missed him. Every morning I woke up, dreading to see him because it was a reminder of the mistake I made, and how much I missed him. The craving to go and jump into his arms, or just a simple kiss was unbearable. But at the same time, I didn't want to talk to him because I knew it would kill him to hear the real reason I broke up with him. Whenever we were in the same room, there was always an uncomfortable silence, an awkward distance, and everyone else saw it. We exchanged a few words, an awkward hello, that's it. The lads tried to set up scenarios that we would end up talking, and working things out, but I saw through all of them. I appreciated them for trying, but I had to dig myself out of the mess I made, not have them do it for me. On the other hand, my first photo campaign for Victoria's Secret was today, and I was incredibly nervous. I was told not to arrive with any makeup on, just sweats and my hair down so they could get started right away. The boys were coming with me, for support and I really appreciated it.

"Lyss, we have to get going now or we're going to be late!" Liam yelled up the stairs.

"Coming!" We all piled into the Range Rover and headed over to the studio. Niall was quiet throughout the whole car ride, it was weird because usually he never shuts up. We all made small talk until we arrived, and the nerves really hit me. I was the last one to get out of the car when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Don't worry, you're going to be great." A familiar Irish accent rang in my ears.

"Thanks Niall." I replied back giving him a small hug. My cheeks heated when I felt his arms wrap around my waist. I missed that feeling, a lot. When we walked into the studio it was chaotic. People running around everywhere, girls in loungerie everywhere- which i'm sure the boys didn't mind that part. I was led by an overstressed assistant to my dressing room, which held all three outfits I'd be modeling. They weren't too provacative, underwear and a sweatshirt was the worst one, along with sweats and PINK clothes. (Outfits on side.) I didn't realize the boys were following me until they interrupted my daze.

"Geeze Lyss, we've never seen dressing rooms as nice as this." Harry commented, eating one of the chocolate covered strawberries on the coffee table. I guess it wasn't that bad. It had a large white leather sofa, pink walls with expensive looking wall art.

"I guess it is pretty nice." I admitted, picking up a strawberry for myself. I stole a quick glance at Niall,who was sitting on the couch, tapping away on his iPhone.

"Alyssa Payne, we need you for hair and makeup, come dressed in outfit one please." The loudspeaker blared above me. I took the outfit and walked into the bathroom and quickly got changed.

Niall's POV

She was really nervous and I could tell. Her usual loud bubbly personality wasn't there and she seemed in a daze. A sudden burst of confidence had brought me to tell her she'd be fine this morning, I even gave her a hug. It felt amazing to have her in my arms again, all I wanted to do in that moment was kiss her soft, sweet lips. Right now she was currently shooting her first outfit. I tried to keep my eyes on my phone, to keep myself from staring at her. The second one, I couldn't help myself but steal a few glances, thank God she didn't see me, I would have been so embarrassed. When she came out in the third one, she only had underwear on, and I couldn't handle it, so I went outside and waited until she was in normal clothes again. It killed me to think she would never be mine. I wanted her so badly, to call her mine. But that would never happen she hated me. I hated me too, I wasn't good enough for her. I wanted to at least be friends with her, she was a great person to say the least. All that we had exchanged in the last two weeks was awkward hellos, small talk when necessary. The boys were trying to help, but they were just making it worse and more awkward for the both of us. There was only one thing I wanted to ask her though, what suddenly made her change her mind so suddenly. The bullshit excuse of her not wanting to ruin Liam and I's relationship was obviously fake, anyone could see through it.

The door suddenly burst open making me jump, causing Alyssa to let out a small giggle, causing me to crack a small half smile at her. A small blush was apparent on her face. It took everything I had not to go up and hug and tease her about it.