Silence

Chapter 2

After dinner, I went back to my room, and Ryan and I were texting back and forth about our lives. He told me that his parents weren't home a lot and that his uncle killed himself. Suicide was the saddest thing in the world to me the fact that you could be so depressed to the point you take your own life seems like the worse way to go.

I didn't know if I trust him with my thoughts on depression or if I could trust anyone with them. Underneath it all, I was just an insecure girl who just wanted to fit in with everybody.

I was left questioning everything in my life until I fell asleep hopefully this was only a temporary feeling.

           The next morning I woke up got ready ate another hot pocket and hopped in my dad's car to school. Being early was boring now I had nothing to do until I saw the hot senior guy again.

"What's up nice to see you again," he says, and I'm dying inside of course I was already going to be head over heels.

"How's Dana?" I ask.

"Her name is Lena, and she should be here shortly I want you to meet her she's really sweet," he says. I had a lot of time to spare, so I walked with him to meet his girlfriend which was going to be a waste of time.

"I'm Martin by the way," he says finally introducing himself.

I see a bus pull up and a girl with long brown hair gets off the bus and runs to hug Martin who picks her up.

"Marky," she says, and I notice something about her she had Down syndrome.

"Lena this is Josie," he says, and she pats my head, and I laugh.

          In math class, I tell Lucy all about Benyamin, and she tells me that she thinks it's weird he asked me out-out of nowhere. It was kind of strange just getting the text from him so late in the summer. But then we hung out the last two weeks of summer, so it's okay. Everyone gets so worked up not my fault you can't find a stable love.

"The last guy dated was really sweet and everything but I couldn't find a place in my life for a relationship," she tells me, and it leaves me questioning.

"Who was the guy?" I ask, and she shakes her eyes.

"Let's not get into that," she says and we both laugh.

"Josie where'd you get that shirt from by the way it's really cute," she asks and I got it off Amazon, but she didn't need to know that.

"My mom got it for me for my birthday," I tell her and then the bell rings.

I go to my locker and Ryan walks up to me and makes my heart flutter why does he have this effect on me. He's not even my boyfriend which was the worse part, but he has the cutest smile.

"Hey Josie Rosie," he says, and I grab my science textbook and shove it into his hands. I know I could've been nicer cause all he said was hi, but I was in a bad mood for some reason.

Lucy somehow sensed the awkwardness and told Ryan to look for Scott and that we'd see them in gym. I was having a shitty day cause of Benyamin and everything everyone was saying about him.

In gym, everyone kept asking if I was okay but I was just tired we sat in the bleachers again. Ryan asked me if it was something he said, and he made my heart swell again, but I just decided to change the topic.