Ours - Junbob

xvi. jiwon

When it was late at night and Jiwon was incredibly sleep-deprived, it only made sense that he'd be less thoughtful than usual. Add a few cups of coffee and too-crammed information in his head and he'd completely forget about the fact that he had a boyfriend who both treasured his privacy and got incredibly angry when it came down to some things.

Jiwon had forgotten his notepad in Junhoe's room for a reason that he...didn't quite know - Junhoe had probably stolen it for paper come to think of it, but then it wouldn't quite be the case of Jiwon forgetting it and this is getting confusing - and he suddenly remembered that fact in the midst of working on a sorting algorithm. He decided it wouldn't really be of much harm if he just snuck into Junhoe's room for a moment.

It was difficult from the very beginning. Jiwon had to bite down on his fist to stop himself from knocking first.

The door was shut which made things a bit harder, but Jiwon turned the handle quietly and walked into the room. But he never did get to take his notepad because the first thing he heard was quiet sniffling, and he was frozen. Did Junhoe have a cold? God, Jiwon was begging that that was the only reason for the noise. "J-Junhoe...?"

The sniffling stopped immediately before a groggy, scratchy voice rasped, "Hyung, what the hell are you-"

Jiwon turned the light on against anyone's better judgement except his own and saw Junhoe wince, shying away and raising an arm to shield his eyes from the light. But Jiwon could see his face and the tear tracks on them were so clear that he had to suck in a breath, so unsure of what to do. How long had Junhoe been crying, and how long had Jiwon been so oblivious to his sadness a.k.a. the worst thing ever?

"Ugh, turn that off," Junhoe hissed, bringing his blanket up to cover his face and Jiwon shook his head in reply, still stunned.

"Junhoe, I can't-"

"Get out!" Junhoe yelped, throwing a pillow at Jiwon and the elder clumsily managed to catch it. "Why the heck did you decide to come in here? Can't I have my fucking privacy?!"

Jiwon gulped a little, backing up absent-mindedly even though he wasn't planning to leave. Junhoe was just really scary sometimes, and even though Jiwon's heart was breaking and he wanted to help, angry Junhoe was something he was terrified of. "Y-You can but-"

Junhoe glared at Jiwon so fiercely that all the words died in the latter's throat. "Go away."

"I don't wa-"

"If you don't get the fuck out right now, we're over."

Jiwon's eyes widened, his heart stuttering painfully in his chest but he still lowered his gaze, nodding complacently before he turned off the light and left the room, hugging the pillow to his chest with one arm as he slowly pulled the door closed. Then he just stood there for a while.

It sort of felt like déjà vu. Just like all those months ago, Junhoe was crying and Jiwon couldn't do anything about it. But last time, he had done something in the end but now he was just failing and managed to make his boyfriend get so angry at him that he'd break them up in an instant.

Jiwon almost went back in. But he wasn't quite selfless enough to risk losing Junhoe just to follow a train of moral thought.

"Please be okay," Jiwon whispered, too quiet for Junhoe to hear him but he wishfully hoped that he would, in his soul or something. But that kind of telepathy just didn't exist and all Jiwon could do was go back to work, knowing that he wouldn't be able to sleep well for the whole night.

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The first sign of coexisting life Jiwon heard in the morning was a door being thrown open, and it made Jiwon spill a little bit of his coffee. "Darn it..."