Ours - Junbob

viii. jiwon

"Can—may I kiss you?"

Jiwon had no idea what he was thinking when he had said that. They both had trouble holding hands, even just looking at each other for God's sake, why did he end up asking that?!

He felt terrible, especially when he saw the frozen look on Junhoe's face and he quickly said, "Wait, Junhoe, I'm sorry, we can just forget I said anythi-"

"My mother's said to me once before that 'a man who uses 'may' will always be the one to steal your heart'. I'd never thought about it until now," Junhoe said slowly and Jiwon tensed, his heart in his mouth as he ran those words over in his head a million times. What did they mean? Was one word suddenly going to decide Jiwon's entire fate? Was he overreacting?!

But then Junhoe smiled. It was such a beautiful smile, and Jiwon's breath was taken away.

"Yes, hyung. You may." Then Junhoe blinked and quickly added a small, "If- if you still want to."

Jiwon froze, only his eyes moving as they widened to the size of golf balls. He didn't know what to do now, his heart thumping so hard that it almost burst as he stammered, "I-I do."

"Okay."

"We should..."

"Yeah."

Jiwon tugged on Junhoe's arm to get the guy to turn around which he did, eventually. And Jiwon bit his lip as he looked down, wondering where to go next but then a hesitant arm wrapped around his waist and pulled him forward, just enough for them to be in each other's space, but still too far for a kiss.

"Hm, have you done this before?" Jiwon teased in a light tone to try and alleviate anything uncomfortable, but Junhoe only shrugged which Jiwon instantly knew was his boyfriend's way of trying to pretend this wasn't as big as it was. Cute.

"Maybe this would've been better in the backseat but I didn't...think this would be happening, so preparation died, RIP," Junhoe murmured, his grip on Jiwon's waist tightening and loosening about a billion times. Jiwon wasn't used to this because he was always the straight-up dominator in past relationships, and even if those had all barely lasted longer than what him and Junhoe had already gone through...Junhoe could make him weak in seconds. Weak, but not submissive.

Was he making any sense at this point?

Jiwon just stared at Junhoe for a while, frozen with unknown feelings tingling all throughout his body but he was a little comforted at the fact that Junhoe looked just as scared. The younger's bottom lip was caught between his teeth and his hand started tapping Jiwon's waist as if it was jittery and unable to keep still. Well, Jiwon was just glad that Junhoe couldn't see just how bad his own hands were trembling then.

He wasn't sure if looking at Junhoe was calming him down or not, in the end. For one thing, Junhoe looked absolutely beautiful with the moonlight pouring through the windows behind him and bedazzling him, the calming ethereality of it all seeping into Jiwon's heart which could be fit to burst. But on the other hand, Junhoe looked too gorgeous and Jiwon could only doubt himself, wondering what on earth he had done to bag an angel.

Junhoe was hilarious, pretty, confident, honest, ambitious, strong, incredible.

And what do I have?

"Is it okay, that I'm freaking out? Is that bad? Am I supposed to be freaking out? Do you hate me for freaking out?!" Junhoe suddenly blurted out all in one go, looking terrified and Jiwon wanted to do nothing but coddle him in a hundred blankets.