14. Don't You Cry For Me

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I'm gonna leave you here,
I'm gonna leave you at the station,
I've got a long way to go baby,
Woman, don't you cry for me.


Astrid came to our rescue, offering us the spare room at her mother's house. She'd offered it to us before, but laziness and the hostel's proximity to the Reeperbahn meant we'd stayed where we were. We packed our belongings in the morning and Astrid came to collect us in her little car. Her mother was lovely, she really didn't seem to mind her house being filled with all us Liverpudlian refugees. There wasn't a huge amount of room, but they put me and Minnie up in their spare room.

I went through the whole thing feeling like I was in a daze. I couldn't concentrate on anything. Everything George had said kept replaying in my mind. I wanted to go and find him, but I didn't get chance to until later that afternoon. By the time I arrived at the Bambi, the doors were locked and there didn't appear to be anyone around.

I knocked for a while but eventually gave up. I walked back on to the main street wondering where everyone could be. A terrible thought occurred to me. Could George have gone home already? He wouldn't have gone so soon, would he? I'd no idea how long it took to be deported. Could it be that quick?

As I lifted my head, I saw Paul walking back towards the Indra. He waved when he saw me, a smile on his face. It faded quickly when he neared me.

'Whatever's up, love?' he asks. 'You look like you've lost half a crown and found a sixpence.'

'George...' I start.

Paul nods, sagely. 'Ah, yeah. Of course, sorry. You going back to Liverpool with him then?'

'No,' I say, not wanting to go into the details with Paul. 'No, I'm not going back...'

Paul smiles sympathetically. 'Aw, well, don't worry, love. I'm sure he'll understand.'

'I don't think he does, Paul. And now I can't find him. I'm scared he's going to leave and I won't have chance to... talk to him.'

Paul frowns. 'Didn't you knock?' he asks, pointing towards their rooms. 'George is in there, you know.'

I shake my head. 'I knocked, but... I suppose he didn't hear.'

'I'll go and fetch him for you,' Paul says, jovially. 'Make sure he's decent, eh?' He laughs.

He disappears around the corner and I lean against a building to wait. The bricks are cold. I realise this is the spot where George cornered me and asked me to stay in Hamburg with him and I told him I wouldn't. Now he wants me to go back and I can't do that either.

Paul takes ages to come back. So long, I wonder if he's forgotten me, but then he returns alone. 'Uh, sorry, Han,' he says, awkwardly, obviously embarrassed. He scratches his head. 'He say's... Well, he won't get up.'

I smile, trying not to show how hurt I am. 'Okay. Um, could you let him know I'd like to talk to him? When he gets up?'

'Sure, love.' Paul smiles. 'Soon as he gets his lazy arse out of bed!'

But George doesn't come and find me. I don't see him at all until the show at the club that night. Usually the boys drink at the bar before going on, but tonight George isn't with them. He only arrives shortly before they go on stage. I try to catch his eye as I watch him play but he doesn't look over. During their break, he goes into the back rooms somewhere and I'm not brave enough to go and look for him.

Just before the curfew time, Paul grabs the mic and announces, 'Hey, hey, oi, listen up!' There's cheering and jeering. 'This next song is going to be the last one tonight with George.'

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