95. I Really Love You

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A/N - Warning: This chapter will be an uncomfortable read! It contains extremely adult issues, adult situations, sex, nasty things, a bit of violence, bad language, the worst things that can happen, the lot. Strong stuff. But remember, it's only fiction. x

***

You,
I really really love you
Nobody else will do
That's why I love you
That's why,
Why,
Why...


A dress of many colours.

An empire line, sleeveless dress with wide pleats in red, orange, blue, purple and yellow falling from the bustline to create the skirt and a square shaped, low neckline. It's above the knee, a little shorter than I normally wear, but I'm still going to wear it today. It was a gift from Minnie for my birthday last year. The last birthday present she ever gave me.

Unbidden, my eyes cloud with tears but I blink them away. I don't want to spend today in tears. I'm determined not to. I plan to keep busy. To work on the album for Minnie and on what I started writing at the studios yesterday. It won't be a normal day, but I won't let it be a grief filled day either. Minnie wouldn't want that. I can see her, rolling her eyes at me and saying, 'For fucks sake, Hannah. What a waste of time.' The idea of it makes me smile.

I touch the blue sapphire pendant around my neck, rubbing the engraved MMJ on the back with my thumb. Minnie's necklace. I wear it most days still.

'What's it look like?' I ask her.

'Gorgeous,' she answers, clipping my necklace around her neck. She smiles at me, then gives a quiet sigh. 'I do love you, you know, Hannah. I know I don't say it very often, but I do.'

'I miss you,' I tell my reflection, and my sister, in a whisper. 'God, I miss you, Minnie.'

I have the othe necklace, the one with HJ on the back of it that Minnie used to wear. I didn't know what to do with it at first. I nearly gave it to the funeral directors to bury with her, but I decided to keep it instead. I will give it to Bobbie for her eighteenth birthday. That's a long way away yet, but then she'll be old enough to understand it's significance. I think Minnie would like that.

George pushes the door to the bedroom open and comes up behind me. I give him a smile in the reflection of the mirror. He puts his hands on my waist, smoothing the fabric of the dress and folds them together on top of my stomach, resting his chin on my shoulder.

'Are you alright?' he asks, quietly.

I nod. 'Yes, just a bit... sad.'

'What are you thinking about?'

'Um, the morning of my wedding...'

George tenses, but he doesn't move away. He keeps his arms around me.

'When I made you go down the fire escape?'

'Yes, I remember. Happy memories, eh?' he says, sardonically. 'The happiest day of your life.'

'What?'

'That's what they say, isn't it? Your wedding day is the happiest day of your life.'

'It wasn't the happiest day of my life. I spent the whole day wishing I'd gone with you.'

George isn't sure whether to smile at that or tell me I told you so, again. You should have come with me.

'Perhaps it was Ricky's then,' he says, finally.

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