29. Any Road

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But it's a game
Sometimes you're cool, sometimes you're lame
Ah yeah, it's somewhere
And if you don't know where you're going
Any road will take you there

The Beatles have their own plane for this tour, hired specially to take them around the country. I expected a small charter plane, but it's actually quite big, nearly the size of a regular passenger plane. Good thing too, as with the Beatles entourage, various other support personnel, and us, it's nearly full to capacity. Some of the support acts are arranging their own travel. Not all acts are playing every venue. We are though.

I suppose it's cheaper for us to travel together like this. In the past we've had tour managers, maybe a roadie or two, but that's when we were touring with Ricky and his band. It's just Maurice looking after our little group this time, but the venues usually have their own technicians anyway. I know from Maurice and Ricky's constant arguing that money is tight at the moment. I think Maurice has quite a lot riding on this Raindrops tour. He's not said that in so many words, but he seems quite tense, worried all the time.

We had a day off yesterday to recover from Shea Stadium, although really, I think it was more to recover from the after show party. Ricky was still in a bad mood about it when I left this morning. He didn't say anything to Gianni about Maria's behaviour, but he's said plenty to me. I spent yesterday washing clothes, cleaning the apartment and cooking food for him to eat while I'm away. Ricky spent yesterday following me around and giving me instructions on how I should and shouldn't behave while I'm away. I sing at the shows and then go back to the hotel and that's it. No late night parties, no trips out anywhere and no sharing rooms with anyone except Minnie.

'No talking, no laughing and no singing,' I said, trying to lighten things. Ricky didn't see the funny side.

I don't think it's going to be a problem. I'm going to stay away from George, and that will probably result in me staying away from the rest of them too.

I'm quite surprised that Ricky hasn't turned around and stopped me from going all together. I think it's perhaps to do with whatever Maurice said to Ricky at the party, and maybe to do with us needing the money. I'm also instructed to stick by Maurice's side, like he's my bodyguard and my life depends on it, or perhaps he's the warden and I'm the prisoner he's escorting. I never realised Ricky would be so jealous and possessive. He wasn't like this before we were married. Not to this extent, anyway.

We have performances for the next six days straight. One or two shows a day. It's not the shows that exhaust you, it's the travelling. Most of it will be done overnight, which means we'd better get used to sleeping on this plane. Of course, all the travel arrangements were made before John and Minnie fell out. It only takes about an hour and forty minutes to fly from New York to Toronto, but if every journey is going to be like this, then it's going to be a really long trip.

I don't know what's going on with them. I would ask Minnie, but I doubt she'd tell me. She's sitting near the front of the plane, next to Paul, carrying on with everyone, laughing, talking and blatantly ignoring John. John's sitting by a window a couple of seats in front of me; sulking, I suppose. He's quiet, and that's so out of character for John, it's a little unnerving.

Everyone at the front of the plane bursts into peals of laughter, Minnie particularly loudly. John glances up at this and then goes back to leaning on his elbow, staring out of the window. This is Minnie's way of dealing with things. It's a look-at-what-you're-missing show. I wonder if John realises?

It's not my way of dealing with things. I sit at the back of the plane, as far away from everyone else as possible. I've brought a stack of paperback books with me to keep me company. I don't feel like I'm really missing anything keeping out of it.

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