My Short Diary Life

Monday - 24th June

Dear Diary,

I went into school today, but only for half a day. I thought I may as well collect my stuff and say 'hey'. I was going to stay for a whole day, but, unfortunately, things took a turn for the worse. I'll get to that later, I'll tell you about the whole day.

I had to get up at 5:30 because it's a really long drive from the school to the hospital, well, this one anyway. So I did what you do when you get ready, you know: Brush your teeth, do your hair, have breakfast (It is, after all, the most important meal of the day), and, of course, get dressed. After that was done mum shoved me in the car, we still had to drive past my house and get the siblings. 

Then we drove to school, because in order to get to school you have to, obviously, go there.  All eyes were on me when I walked through the gates, the news had obviously spread.

I remember this vividly. This girl called Rebekah, she's kind of popular but not overly, she ran up to me and said this, 'Oh my god, lyssy, I am so sorry to hear about you,' she then went to hug me but didn't, 'oh, I'm so sorry'

I felt like I should hug her then so I said, 'it’s ok Bekka, I have a cancer in my blood stream, not an allergy to hugs,' then I hugged her. We're coming up to the defining moment in my life, nearly there.

Beck: I know, I just didn't want to hurt you, you're sick and-

This is the defining moment, of which I took a stand, but a lot of people saw, oops.

Me: Beck! Just because I have cancer doesn't mean I am this fragile weak thing, I'm still living, even though I have just over eighty days or something, doesn't mean I can't do anything, I can do everything I've done before and more. Please treat me like you did before this.

You get the gist. She then apologized and I walked to my locker with her, she was in my ceramics class so we walked there together. 

First period, ceramics, was just like I had expected it to be. A lot of, 'Are you okay?' and 'How's it going?' etcetera. Then came recess, I sat where I usually sit with the gang and did the same kind of stuff.

Then it was maths, the whole gang were in that class together, which was good. But that's also when things got real bad. Half way through the lesson I could feel myself getting disorientated and a little woozy. Then I started to froth from the mouth, fell to the floor and I don't really know what happened next apart from the fact that I wound up back here in the hospital, plugged up to more machines than when I was diagnosed.

When I woke up five minutes ago (When I started writing) Alex was and still is asleep on a sofa chair next to my bed. He should be able to tell me what went down in maths today. Hopefully. I'll need to get filled in with the docs, but I'm looking for the positives.

I have amazing friends that care about me and a whole year level of school kids making sure I'm okay. Whether they care, or if they feel obliged to, I don't care because it feels nice to know that so many people are caring for me.

I better get some rest - it took all my energy to write this.

Talk soon

Alyssa xx