My Brothers Bestfriend.

My Brothers Bestfriend 63

------STEFS P.O.V!------

I sat hidden in the little blue play house at the local park, a few streets down from his house. I had just stormed out like a madman after grabbing my bag, and here I am, in the freezing cold darkness of nightime. I couldn't help it as the tears ran slowly down my cheeks, leaving trails... He didn't understand; he couldn't understand! He wasn't me, so of course he didn't know what it was like!

I sobbed as I buried my face in my hands. I wanted nothing more in this world then Jacob, and then a little mini Jacob. Why couldn't he understand? The joy of having a little mini Jakelette (A/N: LOL! That's for you, AmbOfTheNinjas!) would give to me; just like Kasey and Caleb's little Caylette will give them. I had to give a small little chuckle through my tears and sobs as those names came randomly into my mind. A Jakelette and Caylette; they could be bestfriends, or at least best cousins. But I sighed, knowing this could never happen. I now know that that saying is true - We only ever want what we can't have.

I guess when you know that something is absurd, impossible, unlikely to ever happen, then we trick ourselves into thinking that that is what we desire most, what we want, or sometimes even need. That is what I've done with myself; I was told at seventeen years old that I wasn't able to have children because of some low-life prick, but no matter how much I hate knowing I'm not able to conceive, I would never go back in time and change saving Jacob's life. And now again, though at age eighteen, I'm told yet again that I'm unable to now adopt, that I'm too young.

Do you know what it's like? Being told no over and over again, for different reasons, reasons that sometimes don't even effect other people, only me. Only me, myself and I. And in the end, it's me, myself and I deciding what's best, anyway. But then how come I can't bring myself to do what I want so much to do; drop out of school and adopt a baby, a baby that would become my baby... Why can't I ignore Jake? Why do I feel like I have to do everything he tells me? "You know why." It seemed as though it was my heart whispering to me.

I truly think it's because of the way I feel; as though with him, I have no control over myself, that I would willingly do anything for him. Like he could command me to jump off of a bridge and I would be content with happiness to do so, only because he's the one telling me to do it. It's like... I don't even know how to explain; it's like I have to obey him.

I sighed as I thought about what I was going to do. I think I sat there for thirty seven minutes before coming to the question - which didn't get me far, only left me more standard - 'Who the fuck cares what he has to say?' But, as I said, this left me more deserted of ideas when this time it was definitely my heart whispering, "You do, stupid."

(THE NEXT MORNING!)

------JACOB'S P.O.V!------

I was getting really anxious as to where Stefanie was. I didn't even know she was missing until this morning, when her mum called me. I was almost dieing when she asked me why Stef hadn't called and told them she was staying at my house like usual. What was I suppose to say? 'Sorry, but we got into our first ever argument, and then she stormed away without a glance back.' I don't think her mum would appreciate that, and so I lied. I said she was asleep. I felt bad for lieing to her parents, but I just couldn't bring myself to tell them the truth.

It's now 11:24am and Josh and Dayna are currently in the next suburb, near Stefanie's house, looking for her as Kasey and Caleb are doing the same, though instead they're checking at the shops and all around them. I was in charge of our suburb, and after having no such luck I'd parked my car, almost hitting the fence. Now I was walking down my street, kicking the rocks in my path frustratingly. This is all my fault!

I'd been thinking for the past 14 hours that Stefanie's idea was completely absurd, but now when I think more and more about it, I see I overreacted. I sighed and randomly turned off into the park, taking the big swing and gently pushing myself. At least no one's here.