Illicit | M.Y.G.

[ 3 ] ㅡ carrots, apples and oranges

The moment I finished grooming myself, I immediately rushed outside my unit while putting on the other pair of my black Nike shoe. Sorry, I am just so excited. I mean, you received a bunch of calling cards from various big companies. What normal person would not go gaga over it?

Somehow my depressed state was instantly lifted. The years that I've wasted for nothing seemed like not a huge deal to me at this point. It's like I have already moved on. Just like that. Well, getting such opportunity could really divert a person's thoughts of misery.

I instantly waved my hands the time I reached the sidewalk, trying to get a taxi as soon as possible. Luckily, I found one in a jiffy and went straight in.

"Min Productions, please," I told the driver and he gave me a nod.

As you know exactly, I've been eyeing on Min Productions since the day I learned its establishment. But I was too shy back then to project myself. If you are wondering how Kang PD discovered me, well, he organized an on-the-spot casting for trainees which I gladly joined after quitting being a trainee from a small company. I didn't wanna quit honestly. I have no choice. It has announced its bankruptcy.

I first came here to Seoul after an agent was roaming around in our school that time. It was a perfect timing since there was a little program being held where all grade levels from every section were mandated to perform something. It was not necessary that everyone from the class should participate. In ours, five people only represented the class, it already includes me. Of course, I love performing so I kinda volunteered myself. The rest was my teacher's decision. One was forced and the other three just needed a little encouragement. So it became like we have a talent showcase and the agent told me that I was the one who stood out among all. That day, I have finally decided to choose the path that I wanted. After I took care of my pertinent papers for transfer, I immediately left home and went straight here to Seoul. Then, the rest is history. Where I lent my two years for nothing. But presently is far more worse. I throwed another four years for another merely nothing.

If I had said that I am shy. To be honest, not entirely. I am not shy performing in front of the student body. But performing in front of important people to make them recruit me is way, way different. I can't help but overthink. What if I am not good enough? What if my style wouldn't suit to their liking? Of course, the level of our timidness depends upon the environment we are in. Like mine, for example, at home, I am normally quiet. The homey vibe? I'm not just feelin' it. Have you sensed that kind of feeling too? My parents wanted me to become something I do not fancy at all, an accountant, and I have already perceived that in my mind where I'm just going to sit around all day, counting money which aren't even mine. I hate that. It seems boring. They have been controlling my life since my first day in this planet and I'm finally sick of it.

What I want is to go out there, make music and sway with the beat in front of million people. I wanna be a performer, the best among all the best ones in the industry. That's why I prefer school than at home despite from the heavy workload and stress. I consider the school as my castle where I am free to rule myself. At least, I can be who I want to be. You can say that I am kinda wild at school. Well, you are absolutely right. Although, not to the point where I started to go to the club, get laid and took drugs. No. I still know my limitations. What I meant about being wild is being vocal to my aspirations in life while showing off my skills in dancing, rapping and singing. I even sometimes sneak out at night to join dance battles and never misses to bring home a few cash with me. In our yearbook, I was voted as someone who would likely to become a celebrity.

My thoughts were dispersed in a flash as the taxi came to its halt and I reflexively fished out a few bills for my fare. I began to strut my way into the building but I instantly felt like a chicken marching towards the guillotine.