.: Friday I'm In Love :|: Reddie :.

The Worst Part

"I was looking for you." Eddie leaned back against the headboard, averting his eyes. He could feel Richie's gaze digging into him like daggers. It had been months. Why now? It was sort of like avoiding the inevitable, and the inevitable had arrived. They couldn't dodge it forever.

"I wasn't planning on going home until I found you, which was stupid, because obviously I knew it was going to take a long time, but I just really really wanted to figure it out.. It was two days in, and he found me before I could find you." Eddie shivered at the memory of big hands shoving him up against a brick wall. "He told me he knew where you were.. I never really believed it, but there was nowhere for me to go. He had me by the hair. I knew where we were going after only a few minutes of walking, and he went to the steepest slope down."

Eddie subconsciously rubbed his legs, remembering the way they had been littered with cuts and bruises as he was thrown down the hill. "Falling into the Barrens wasn't the worst part. The worst part was when he made me..." Eddie trailed off, his mouth falling opened a little. He averted his eyes, hugging himself tightly. "He had beat me up a lot, and I ended up puking. He shoved my face in it." Richie's face contorted, and Eddie looked away again, growing paler by the second. "That was one of the worst parts. But I think that the worst part was when the lid to that sewer pipe closed over my head and everything just went completely dark." He shuddered, and Richie moved as if to grab him, but hesitated. Eddie shook his head, turning away, and Richie resumed his earlier position, fresh tears brimming in his eyes.

"There was no light at all. I don't know why Bowers went down there, whether it was because he was trying to find me again or if he got thrown down there himself, but something or someone killed him. I don't know why it didn't kill me, but something got him, because we all know Henry was too proud to kill himself, no matter what his old man did to him." Eddie frowned. It was a well known fact that Mr. Bowers wasn't exactly the nicest guy, not even to his own son. But suicide, as Henry had always said, was too pussy of a move. The thought of something being down there lurking around the corner while Eddie trudged through shitty water made him curl in on himself. Richie sniffled a little bit, and Eddie felt bad for refusing his embrace, but he needed to get it all out.

"Every time I close my eyes I smell the sewers. Every time it's too dark, every time someone grabs me without warning, every time I get cold.." He trailed off, avoiding looking in Richie's direction. Richie had never cried like this before in front of him. His heart crumbled, but he pushed on.

"I just wanted to find you." His voice broke, and he found himself finally beginning to get tearful. "I had been so confused over the past few weeks, and I guess it took a few days locked in the sewers and finding a dead body to figure it out."

"I already figured it out, I just never told you." Richie's voice came out as more of a sob than anything else. "I thought maybe if I got your bag back then it would boost my chances or something. I was just trying to make you feel better.." Eddie closed his eyes, and a few tears fell, streaking silently down his cheeks.

"I was under the fence, on the other side. I picked up the bag. I couldn't hear the dog, or see it anywhere, and I was starting to think it was just a stray that happened to be there when we were. But then someone just grabbed me, and everything went down the fuckin' drain. He must've hit me on the back of the head or something, cause I was out cold." The hurt in his voice finally broke Eddie. The brunette started to move and Richie threw himself across the bed into Eddie's arms, sniffling pitifully. "It hurt so much. He hurt me so much. When Georgie found me, I thought for sure that son of a bitch was going to see him in there with me. I was so scared that he was gonna hurt Georgie, kill him, even, and then it would be my fault for keepin' him in that fucking room with me."

Eddie ran his hands up and down Richie's back, attempting to wipe tears from his eyes, but they just kept coming.

"An' when you made the last post, I had just enough battery to try a phone call, an' he was sleeping, an' I thought maybe if I was quiet enough I could get away with it," Richie blubbered. Eddie furiously blinked the tears out of his eyes, biting his lip. He had to be strong for Richie, because Richie had always been strong for him.

"You're so brave," Eddie whispered against his forehead, hugging him tightly. "You didn't have to do that for me, Richie. You shouldn't have felt like you had to get my stupid backpack to boost your chances." Richie just cried, getting tears all over Eddie's shirt, but the brunette couldn't find it in him to complain. He just ran his fingers through Richie's hair, murmuring soothing words and shushing him gently.

"I love you," Richie managed, voice breaking. Eddie's heart sped up a little bit at the sound of the words. They had been said, sure, but it still gave him butterflies.

"I love you, too, Richie. So fucking much. You have no idea. I'm sorry for leaving my backpack, I'm sorry for not believing it was you when you reached out, I'm sorry for being stupid and thinking I could handle it all on my own. I'm sorry for not telling you how I felt sooner. I love you." Eddie's fingers curled into Richie's hair, and he buried his face in the boy's neck. Richie took deep, shuddering breaths and just held him as closely as possible.

"I'm sorry, too."

They held each other for a long time. Eddie heard his phone go off with his mother's ringtone multiple times.

He ignored it.