Darkness in the Neon Lights (H2OVanoss)

Chapter 18

He stays silent for a bit and just stares at the resume. After a couple minutes, he sighs and puts the resume on top of the other one he wanted. "Alright. I'll call him in for a interview." He then leans back in his seat and asks, "Now, why did you come up here?"

"I wanted to talk to you about everyone."

"What do you mean?"

"Well," I say, looking to the window that shows off the club. "Everyone seems to have a drug problem."

"... I'm aware of that."

I snap my head back to look at him in shock. "Why haven't you done anything about it?"

"It's not like I don't want to, Evan. But there's nothing I can say or do to get them to stop. Unfortunately, when it comes to drugs, as I'm sure you know, you can't force someone to stop. They're going to have to want to. Something these guys don't want to do."

"But-"

"Evan," He starts, standing up and walking over to the window. "I've tried to stop this before. But, the club isn't enough to get them to stop."

"What do you mean," I ask, walking over.

"I mean, most of these guys think of this place as a job. It's were they go to put in some hours and a paycheck after two weeks. Yes, they love the others here, but that's about it. They don't have much to keep them clean or a reason for them to get clean."

"What? That's not-"

"Don't," he sighs before turning his head away. "Just think about it. What holiday is coming up in a couple of weeks?"

I blink before I say, "You mean, Thanksgiving?"

"Yes. Think back to the last two years. Back when Ohm and Bryce dragged you in here and when you actually worked here. Who did you see here?"

I raise an eyebrow and say, "Uh, pretty much everyone."

"That wasn't really by choice though."

"What?"

"Evan, I only have the club open on Thanksgiving to give an excuse to have everyone here. That's why I close the club early and order catering for everyone. And I do all of it, because no one has anyone." He sighs before he walks over to his bar, and I look out into the club. "This is a gay strip club, Evan. This isn't exactly the place everyone would be proud of their children to work in. After all, over a million kids are kicked out of their homes and/or disowned by their families for being gay or transgender or anything that isn't straight and whatever gender they were born as. Some parents are so embarrassed by their children going into adult entertainment that they cut them out of their lives. Mix those two together, and the chances of having someone in your family that still loves you is so slim that it might as well not be there."

I just stare out into the club in complete shock. I never knew that anyone had to go through any of that.

My mind soon goes back to my parents and the idea of how they would feel about me working here. The idea that scares me so much, and that is coming to me much stronger than before now that Panda has told me this.

"Would my parents..." When my fear causes the words to get caught in my throat, Panda walks back over to me and puts a hand on my shoulder, pulling me close to him.

"They more than likely don't even care about you anymore." My heart drops and I feel a stinging pain in its place. "I'm sure you thought about that by now, Vanoss. You've been here for so long, and we've had police officers come in and out daily. They know who you are and how old you are, but they haven't done anything. That's because they don't have a reason to."

"W-What do you mean?"

"I mean, no one has put in a missing person report for you. No one is looking for you."

I feel my heart breaking as I think about his words. My parents... aren't looking for me... Part of me has always known that... But I wanted to hope that...
 
"But that doesn't matter anymore," Panda then says, patting me on the back. I look over as he takes a drink of his whiskey before he continues. "After all, even if you're parents are pieces of shit, you still have this club and all of us. Even if the guys are always high or drunk at work, we all still care about each other."

I just continue to stare out into the club as I watch Lui take the stage. I watch as he runs over to the pole, jumping onto it, spinning around the pole with his legs wrapped tightly around it.

"That last thing any of us want to do is watch you or anyone get hurt. That's why everyone took Ohm leaving and Bryce's death so hard."

"They did?"

"Of course. I'm sure you noticed everyone gathered in the courtyard at the apartment. They spent half of the night doing different things from different cultures to pay their respects for Bryce, making sure that his soul passed on and that it would rest peacefully."

"Th-they did?! B-but when I saw them, they were all talking and laughing, eating in the courtyard."

"They were telling stories about Bryce and Ohm. You do remember that they had both been here for a lot longer than you. They had gotten close with everyone here."

"How do you know about all of this?!"

"Why do you think I closed the club for two days? It was for everyone to get the chance to morn our lost. Not to mention, after I was done taking care of things here, I had everyone come here since this was where Bryce breathed his last breath."

"You did?!"

"Of course. I know Ohm and I had a bit of a fight before he quit, but he and I were still good friends, and I cared greatly for Bryce. I actually asked where you were, but Moo told me you had locked yourself in your room that first day and you wouldn't come out."

He lied for me?

"I know that you were closer to Ohm, Bryce, and Smitty more than anyone else here. But it's important that you don't forget that you need to open to the rest of us. We're all here for you, and we will alwa- Oh my fucking God!"

My heart drops as well as Panda's glass, both shattering on the floor. I feel the blood rush out of my body as I press my hands against the window, fear coursing through my veins. Panda quickly runs out of the office, leaving me alone to try to process what we had just seen.

One second ago, Lui was spinning around the pole in the middle of the stage. He foot had just barely touched the ground and he was preparing to do a trick. Then, his face went pale white, and we watched, while he was leaning back, he let go of the pole, and fell off the stage.