So here is a bit of a life update for everyone. I have been doing counseling for five months going on six June 2nd. I started doing it in hopes that maybe it would help, my counselor is amazing she is flexible with me and she doesn't mind my service dog being with me. When I first went Ghost my service dog was having a off day and now she doesn't have the off days when we see my counselor. The picture I have above is of Ghost.
Another thing, I have been seeing my doctor for a few issues that sadly Ghost doesn't have a natural alert to. My doctor is wanting me to see a neurologist if things haven't improved and they have but have started to get worse the more active I get even if I drink enough water, sleep enough, eat right and enough. I will probably be seeing one after my next appointment with my doctor which will be in June.
I have been working and working on finishing my schooling with my high school. After I finish my high schooling I'm gonna be doing college full time, by the time I finish high school officially I will be in the winter semester of college. I have to do a reevaluation for my residency which is kind of stupid in my opinion but whatever.
I finally have a state ID so now I don't have to worry about getting asked my age and not having the proof of it along with not having proof that I am who I say I am. Work does get hard on me some days like today, June 2nd, no one could really see it but it was there and I hate how my body has been recently. I'll go into more details about what's been going on at a later date when I know more about what's going on with my body.
My depression and anxiety are both getting better but I still do have my bad days, the past few days have been kind of bad because in three days it's my moms birthday then ten days later is the one year anniversary of her passing. So the past days have been hard for me I've been more moody depressed and just not who I want to be or need to be. While at work I have to force myself to be okay which sucks cause I don't want to force the emotions into a bottle like I have to right now. My boyfriend and friends all understand why I'm being a bit more emotional, yet they don't understand how I am feeling.
The only other reason I have been dealing with my depression is because one month after the anniversary of my moms passing is the one year anniversary of the fire I was in. I'm not sure if I have said much of it but the fire happened July 15th, 2017. It happened around 4pm, I was scared pissed and hurting as it was. I had just lost my mom a month prior so all we had was her ashes. I lost some things that she got me for Christmas in 2016, I didn't bother to think to grab them I didn't bother to grab anything I grabbed my shoes and my nana's (grandma's) shoes that was all I grabbed along with my grandmothers purse. So I pretty much lost everything I had of my mom and grandpa.
Had I not had Ghost I don't think I would have survived that night, I didn't sleep at all except for during the day cause that was when I felt safe cause I had someone with me. I was up from whenever I woke up that day to when ever I went to bed the next morning so I wasn't sleeping much at all, I would get roughly three maybe five if I was lucky. Most of the time after the fire I only slept two hours a night even when we didn't have to see the hotel that burned down. My counselor that I see agreed with me on the possibility of PTSD which I have suspected for a bit of time now just never brought it up cause I thought I would get yelled at or something for even thinking I had it.
I admit it I thought only war vets had PTSD but I soon learned that's not true at all anyone that has been through a traumatic event can develop PTSD. I may write something on involving PTSD on my more non fiction/teen fiction account or one of the two accounts I have for that type of writing. If that's something that would interest you guys let me know, if you guys even want more of things involving my life or even any mental or physical disabilities I will gladly write it.
I wanted to post this part yesterday June 3rd but I couldn't because I had work and when I got home I didn't feel good so I decided to just lay in bed and rest. So here is the part today June 4th for me at least.
