Moonlight | lrh

1.6

Trigger warning. If you do not feel comfortable reading this, please skip to the end of the chapter and I will summarise what happens.

108 Days Clean.

 

“Lee, please. I need to talk to you. At least let me explain. You kn-” Luke started, kneeling down so he was at the same level as me. Pushing his body away, I shook my head as more tears escaped my eyes.

“How could you do that to someone, Luke? Do you have any idea how stupid I feel?” I shouted at him, letting the tears flow freely down my cheeks. I shook my head as I grew angrier by the second.

“You are nothing like people say you are. I can’t even believe this.” I stated, wiping my eyes and standing up so Luke and I were almost chest to chest. If I was in this position four months ago, I probably would have died. But now? All I wanted was to die. I felt so used and betrayed. I felt disgusting.

“Don’t ever speak to me again. Fuck you, Luke Hemmings.” I spat at him before shouldering past him and opening the cubicle. Running out of the bathroom, I ran down the hallway until I came to the area where the girls and I had previously waited with mounds of excited fans. I threw my phone down on the couch as the vibrating was just upsetting me more.

I pushed open the emergency exit door and followed the narrow alleyway until I came back to the front of the arena. Walking down the street, I kept my head lowered to shield my tears as my heart ached in my chest.

Why was I so naïve? Why did I have to trust people so easily?

I walked for what felt like hours through the city of Sydney until I came to the road leading to the apartment. Looking up at the brightly lit up building, I shook my head. The thought of sharing a house with Beth now disgusted me, her name even repulsed me. I thought she was supposed to be my friend?

I continued walking until I came to the pier where I sat down and let my feet dangle over the edge. The tears continued to stream down my face but, I felt numb. I was a repaired china doll who was just dropped again. I was broken into a million and one pieces.

The urge to just jump off the pier and let myself float back to Ireland was undeniable but, I knew I could never do that to my family. I had hurt too many people in my life. I was the only one who should suffer. I should be the one to hurt.

The healed scars beneath all of the bracelets on my right wrist burned and I knew exactly what I had to do. Standing up from the pier, I wiped the tears from my eyes and turned around, walking back to the apartment.

The walk back was short, thankfully. There was only one thought on my mind. The security of being able to feel something awaited me in my room. Maybe that’s what caused me to start running when I saw the apartment block.