Moonlight | lrh

0.7

60 Days Clean.

"Holy fuck..." I breathed out. Beth nodded slowly and gave me a minute to process everything. "How long have you been together?" I asked quietly, my iced tea now laying idle on the table.

"Two and a half years," she replied, taking a sip of her milkshake. My eyes grew as big as golfballs and I lounged back in my chair, breathing out heavily.

"I don't understand..." I muttered, confused. "I thought Michael was single?" Beth shook her head instantly.

"We're hiding it. It's better for the bands success if they all appear that they're single. I don't understand why, it just is." She told me, playing with the straw in her drink.

"So the whole band are dating someone?" I concluded, grabbing my drink. Beth laughed across the table from me and I glanced up.

"No, don't worry." She said smirking. Biting down on my lip, I looked away and let my mind wander. Beth's boyfriend is Michael Clifford. Beth is dating my sunshine's friend.

"What's he like?" I asked Beth quietly, looking down at the table and following the grain of the wood.

"Michael? Or someone else?" she asked me. Keeping my eyes on the table, I started picking at my drink. I knew it was selfish, to think about Luke in a situation like this but, I just couldn't help myself. Beth must have caught onto my prolonged silence and she took a sip of her drink quickly.

"Luke is honestly a sweetheart, Shan." She said quietly. "He's so kind and he instantly accepted me as a friend when Michael and I began dating. He's the awkward person everyone says he is but once you get to know him and he opens up to you, he is one of the best people. He always wants to make people happy, he actually set Michael and I up." Beth told me smiling. Raising my gaze from the table, I looked up at Beth for the first time.

"Really?" I asked, grabbing my drink and taking a small sip. Beth nodded in response and a large grin grew on her face.

"We were at a party and we both got pretty smashed. He pushed Michael and I together and things just went from there," Beth informed me, a smile playing on her lips. Nodding my head, I sat back in my chair.

My mind raced with thoughts. Out of everyone in the world that could've come on this programme, I had to choose the same year as Michael Clifford's girlfriend. I instantly became self-conscious. I had broken down yesterday and Beth had been there.

I slowly felt myself falling back, growing lost in my thoughts. This was impossible. This couldn't be happening. I sat still, thinking everything over in my head before it all became too much.

"I don't know what to say," I murmured, playing with the straw of my drink.

"It's okay," Beth said, pushing a strand of her hair behind her ear. "You're reacting way better than I thought you would." Laughing softly, I pushed my drink away from me slightly.

"Do the others know?" I asked, causing Beth to nod.

"I told them last night," she said. Nodding at her reply, I sat absorbed in my thoughts for a moment.

"Wow," I exhaled softly.

***

That afternoon as I walked back into the apartment, I headed straight for my room. Shutting the door behind me, I exhaled through my nose softly and headed for my bed. Pushing a strand of hair behind my ear, I emptied the contents of my pockets onto my bed and bit down on my lip. After being out with Beth, I was exhausted. We went to a couple of stores but I didn't buy anything, my mind was too busy racing.

Slowly, I began to take my bracelets off my right wrist. Beads, threads and band wristbands pulled over my fragile hand until one bracelet remained. It was worn and faded, a little like me. The black string was tied tightly into my wrist and the beads gazed up at me. Moving my left thumb along the plastic surface of the beads, I smiled gently.

luke hemmings

It was a bracelet I made the day after I relapsed. I hated myself for relapsing, I felt like I left everyone down. I made a promise that night and this bracelet just reinforces it. Like the foundation to a house, sometimes that little bracelet is the only thing that keeps me standing.

Trailing my eyes further down my wrist, gashes of light skin stared back at me. One after the other, always growing in size. They were like little birthmarks, I felt as if they had been there forever. Each one held a memory, an element of pain, the old me.

I traced over them gently, barely able to feel the movement as the nerve endings had been destroyed from my multiple years of harm. Once I reached the end of the trail, I removed my hand and sighed. Grabbing all my bracelets again, I carefully placed them back on my wrist. Making sure that they concealed my homemade bracelet.

Laying down on the bed, I closed my eyes momentarily. Today had been a rough day. I was still tired from my breakdown yesterday and the news I discovered today caused a headache to grow along my eyelids. Flickering my eyes open, my gaze landed on one thing. The picture of 5SOS I had brought to Sydney with me. A weak smile grew on my lips as I looked at Luke's stupid grin emoji expression.

For some people, Luke, Michael, Calum or Ashton may be their sunshine. The definition of a sunshine? Someone who makes your day brighter. For me, Luke wasn't my sunshine. He was my moonlight. Your sunshine is with you to make your bright days brighter but, your moonlight is your only element of light in your otherwise dark life.

Luke Hemmings is my Moonlight.

-

I hope you enjoyed it! thanks for all your feedback, the story is really beginning to develop now ;)

hint: if you comment and vote, I'll update faster (you didn't hear that from me okay)