The next day, I was downstairs looking for something to help with pain, while Jack was writing in the journal. I smiled over at him. We had decided, that we would take turns writing in it, so whoever found it knew both sides of the story. I flipped another page and froze. I grabbed the recipe cards and compared the contraceptive potion the Tia Dalma had given me to the one in the book. "Jack," I said.
"What's wrong, love?"
"This is what my mother said she gave me the night we went to get you," I told him.
"Are you having second thoughts?" I looked up at him.
"It doesn't match the one in the book." Our eyes met, and I knew we were thinking the same thing.
"Maybe there's more than one," Jack suggested, "and we're just jumping to the worst conclusion."
"Only one way to find out," I whispered, looking through the book, "Although I don't know if I want to know." Jack stood up and hugged me.
"Whatever we find," he said, "I'm here for you, no matter what." He kissed my head. "That's what we're married for."
"For better or for worse," I replied. I kissed him, before going back to the book. "You knew her better than I did. Would she do what we think she's done?" I asked, turning the page, and finding the potion, "Has done," I corrected. My legs gave out, and Jack caught me before I fell on the floor. "I can't have children," I whispered, looking up at him. "I'm sorry, Jack." He held me in his lap, rubbing my back, "I'm sorry," I repeated.
"Shhh," Jack replied, "you didn't know, love." He wiped a tear from my cheek. "We'll figure out something."
"Maybe there's a way to reverse it."
"You can look later, Amandah. Right now, I want to take care of you." I touched my stomach.
"I wanted to carry your child," I whispered, "I still do."
"I know," Jack replied, hugging me.
"Would you mind if we took a break?"
"You mean from lovemaking?"
"Yes, just for a few weeks."
"If it will help you feel better, I promise I won't touch you in any way, except for kisses, till you say it's okay."
"I just don't see what the point is to doing it anymore."
"It's not just for making babies, you know that."
"I do, but yesterday that was our goal, and now it just seems like all that work was for nothing."
"I thought you had fun?"
"I did."
"That's the important part. It was a slim chance of you becoming pregnant anyway." I sighed, resting my head on his shoulder, "Do you feel any different this month than last month, or any other month for that matter?"
"I don't feel as, I don't know how to put it, um, as... don't take this the wrong way. I don't want you as badly as I usually do." He sighed, kissing me.
"We will get through this. Until then, I'll stick to my promise of no sexual contact, unless you say so."
"Thank you, Jack," I said, "can I see if I can find something in the book."
"May I have a kiss first?" I kissed him, and he let go of me. "I'll look through the cards." Suddenly there was a gust of wind, and the cards flew everywhere.
"Jack," I said, "I thought you locked the door."
"It's been locked since we got here. Stay here, I'll check everything."
"Be careful."
"I will be." He grabbed his pistol and started looking around every corner. He pointed at the door, indicating he was going to check outside. I nodded and started picking up the cards. I slowly realized that they spelled out a word.
"Jack!" I called out. He came back inside and stood next to me. "I think we've overstayed our welcome." The cards spelled out LEAVE!
"Go get your things, love," said Jack, putting his things back on. I nodded running up the stairs and grabbing my shoes, and hair ribbon. I suddenly felt dizzy but ignored it. I went downstairs and nearly collapsed on the last step. "Sweetheart?" He grabbed me helping me sit down.
"I'm fine, I just need a minute." I rested my head on the wall, closing my eyes. I felt Jack sit next to me.
"You're worn out," he stated. I shook my head.
"Dizzy," I mumbled, laying on him. "Vision dizzy."
"Oh." He started stroking my hair, "We'll wait for it to pass, I'm sure she understands."
"I've never had one like this before," I said, "I feel nauseous." Then everything was white.
