A Love Lost

Chapter 9

Haru stood in the doorway, entranced as he stared into the classroom, watching Amelia, until the melody came to an end.

Haru let out a breath, he didn't realise he had been holding.

Sasha who had been sitting on a low bookshelf glanced around then, gasping in delight.

'Oh Haru...what are you doing here?'

Haru's breath came in a shudder, drawing a sharp gasp between his teeth, the edges of his eyes crinkling as tears came to him.

'That was......beautiful....' he hung his head then, body trembling, before he glanced up again, smiling at Amelia. 'That was amazing.'

Amelia smiled back at him, standing there with the bow and violin at her sides now.

'Why don't you come in?' Sasha invited.

Haru stepped into the room, closing the sliding door behind him.

'I heard um...' Haru began. 'I heard the music, from down the corridor.'

'I've been working hard and practicing more' Amelia beamed at him happily.

'I thought you played the flute' Haru voiced.

'I do' Amelia replied, bowing her head shyly then. 'I just started learning the violin.'

'You only just started?' Haru gasped. 'That was amazing.'

'Do you play any instruments?' Sasha asked him, remaining where she sat on top of the low bookshelf.

'I... yes' Haru laughed awkwardly. 'I um.... I play the violin also, and the piano.'

'Are you any good?' Sasha raised an eyebrow mischievously.

'I... I think I'm ok' Haru chuckled awkwardly.

'Why don't you show us how good you are?' Amelia invited.

Haru hesitated then, glancing from Amelia to Sasha and back again.

'Oh' he fumbled, 'I....no I couldn't. I wouldn't want to intrude.'

'Don't be silly' Sasha waved him away.

'I have to go anyway' Haru smiled, backing towards the door again. 'I'm sorry to interrupt.'

Amelia caught his eye then as he turned away, and he paused just for an instant, sharing a glance with her, her eyes happy as she looked at him, an understanding passing between them.

Haru wanted only to leave them alone, together.

He closed the door after him, letting out a sigh, feeling happy.

Haru turned away, walking back down the corridor slowly, making his way back towards his dormitory as he headed outside.

It had stopped raining now, but the clouds were still heavy, and as Haru glanced about the school grounds, he saw that it was empty. Everyone had already gone inside, to their dormitories, or whatever business or classes or clubs they had.

Haru thought he would not be disturbed as he made his way across the open grounds, heading towards the other building, towards the dormitories. But a figure stopped him suddenly. As he walked past a tree, he baulked, seeing a figure stepping out from behind it.

Haru instantly began to feel fear inside of him.

'Hello Haru' Kyle gleamed in an unfriendly manner. 'Fancy seeing you here.'

Haru immediately averted his gaze, clutching the straps of his bag tighter and hunching his shoulders.

'Were you waiting for me?' Haru mumbled, not looking at him, his voice barely audible.

'Squeak up!'

Haru's brow furrowed in anger then, turning his head to look back at Kyle.

'Why are you so weak?' Kyle asked him snidely. 'It's really quite pathetic.'

'Why are doing this? Why don't you leave me alone?'

'Because you piss me off' Kyle spoke dangerously, eyes flashing. 'You're fucking disgusting.'

'Hu?'

Kyle shoved him backwards. Haru stumbled, caught by surprise he fell, tripping over his own feet.

Haru flinched at the pain in his body, the aches in his body from when he had been pushed down the stairs.

Kyle bent down, picking up the books that had fallen from Haru's bag, having seen something interested.

'What's this?'

Haru glanced up, absolutely horrified as he realised what Kyle had picked up. It was his book, the one he had written in, confessing his feelings for Aubrey. His diary.

'Oh my god....' Kyle uttered, staring at the book.

Haru panicked then, rising to his feet and grabbing at the book.

Kyle grabbed Haru then, shoving him against the tree, holding him there, trapping him.

Haru whimpered in fear, gritting his teeth and tearing up.

Kyle glared at him for a moment, pressing his weight against Haru so that he could not move. He held the book in his other hand, continuing to read what Haru had written.

Haru was unable to move, his mind foggy, unable to even think, he had frozen in fear.

'Oh waw' Kyle said, 'you're fucking gay?' he laughed. 'Are you fucking kidding me?'

Haru covered his face with his hands then, beginning to sob.

His knees trembled, feeling weak.

Kyle let go of him then, and Haru sunk to his knees, crying into his hands.

'You're fucking pathetic. Dam queer.'

'Please don't tell anymore' Haru sobbed. 'Please....I'm begging you.'

Kyle stared down at him, grimacing then.

'Tch. You're pathetic, how do you live with yourself?'

Kyle threw the book at Haru suddenly, turning and walking away

Haru fell silent then, tears continuing to roll down his cheeks. He watched as Kyle walked away, striding with his hands in his pockets.

Haru began to gather up his fallen books, putting them back into his bag and rising to his feet, feverishly wiping away his tears with his sleeve.

He gritted his teeth, feeling a pain inside his chest. He didn't want to have a panic attack, not here, not now.

He waited for a moment, glancing around to make sure that Kyle had gone.

He was nowhere to be seen.

Haru turned, running now as he headed towards his dormitory.

When he got there, he found Nate already sleeping in bed.

Haru stared at him, turning to close the door quietly.

He put his bag down quietly, washing himself in the shower quickly and getting dressed in his pyjamas. He glanced over towards Nate who was fast asleep still, having not stirred.

Haru reached down to pick up his book, the one he had written his feelings in, his feelings for Aubrey.

Haru stared down at the book sadly, tears coming to his eyes again.

He got in bed, resting on his side and facing the wall. He clutched the book to him, crying silent tears as he hugged himself, he bowed his head, feeling so frustrated, and hating himself.

Hating himself for being so weak.

Aubrey.......

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