Destined

Chapter 20

  After the conversation I had with Charlie, I continued walking around the castle until the first rays of sunlight began to stream onto the cold stone around me. I was almost back to my own room when someone spoke from behind me.

  "You look like shit." I turned around with a small smile on my face.

  "Charming as always, Meg," I said. Meg smirked at me and took a few steps closer.

  "Seriously, though. Are you okay?" she asked, taking my hand in hers.

  "I suppose. I know something I don't want to, and I can't tell you what, but it has merely reinforced how simple my life was before I arrived here," I said, running my thumb over her knuckles absentmindedly. Meg leaned up and gave me a quick kiss.

  "It'll all be over soon," she said. "Then you can be far away from all of this as you want to be." I smiled, my wings unfurling slightly into a more comfortable position.

  "I'm glad you're here, Meg. I really feel like I have someone on my side," I said, lifting her hand to mine and kissing it. Meg smiled at me.

  "I must say, I didn't expect you to be so charming, Clarence. The things I heard about you don't match up with what I see in front of me," she said. I pretended to look offended.

  "It seems I cannot say the same for your charm, Lady. I am quite insulted," I said, unable to keep my smile from breaking through. Meg raised her eyebrow.

  "I'm sure," she said. Her smile dropped slightly. "Are you sure you're okay?" I took a deep breath. My night of restlessness was beginning to catch up with me.

  "I will be. I should probably rest, though. I'll talk to you later," I said. Meg nodded, giving me a reassuring smile. I pulled her into a quick kiss, relishing the feeling of her lips on mine. I gave her a smile as we pulled apart, then turned and walked away, back to my room, thinking about meg as I went. I never would have dreamed that I would find someone in Lebanon I was so comfortable around. Dean's face sprang to mind at that, but I quickly pushed it away. I was comfortable around him, but only when he wasn't being stupid and/or insensitive, which at this point was not the majority. But Meg seemed to care about me genuinely. It was comforting to have someone I could talk to. 

  I was roused from my thoughts as I turned the corner and saw Dean standing in front of the door to my room, about to knock. My wings tightened close to my back in anticipation of an unpleasant encounter.

  "Dean. What are you doing here?" I asked. Dean turned around sharply, looking surprised to see me outside my room.

  "Could we... go inside?" Dean asked, gesturing towards my door. I briefly considered refusing him, but I supposed that would not be wise. Besides, there was a part of me that was already hoping he was going to make things better. I nodded and we walked into my room. It was cold, the early winter air seeping through the walls and the fire merely a glow of embers.

  "I... I couldn't stop thinking about how we left things last night. Cas, I don't want to be your enemy. We... we're going to be brothers," Dean said after a few moments of silence.

  "Is that really what you want, Dean?" I asked, crossing my arms. A brief moment of panic flashed across Dean's face.

  "What do you mean?" he asked. I sighed. I was too tired for this conversation.

  "You are the most confusing human being I have ever known. You keep saying we should get along because we're going to be brothers, but then you get so mad at me and won't even tell me why. I can't tell what you want from me, Dean, so please tell me. Tell me what you want from me," I said, my voice getting harsher and harsher as I went on. Dean blinked, not answering. He took a step forward. Then another. Then he stopped.

  "I just want... I want to know you as well as I can. I want to keep you safe, and I want to give you everything you never had. I want to show you that I'm not as bad as you think I am." I stared at Dean, unsettled by his words. I had no idea what they even meant. All I knew was that Dean was watching me. His green eyes were piercing, and the emotion in them was so tangible, yet it escaped my grasp so completely. 

  "Dean, I... I..." Dean took another step closer. "I don't want us to be at odds. I thought of you as a friend, and I would like to again." Dean halted. 

  "Of course. I'd like that too. Maybe we could go into Lebanon some time today. You barely got to see any of it last time. Hannah has business with the Queen today, so it would just be us," he said. I smiled, my wings relaxing slightly. I really would enjoy seeing more of the city, and seeing it with Dean would be even better.

  "I would like that. I really need to sleep first, though. Come back in three hours?" I watched Dean as a smile spread across his face.

  "Alright. Three hours," he said, turning around and walking out. When the door closed behind him, I turned and took the few short steps to my bed, collapsing onto my stomach and stretching my wings out, a smile still plastered on my face. As I drifted off, my last thought was of Dean, smiling at me with his eyes sparkling. I was glad we were back on the same page.

***

 I was sitting in my room, with Hannah and Dean sitting around the fire with me. We were just talking, and there was no tension. It was lovely. Dean and Hannah were in the middle of a conversation about wedding plans when the door burst open. I jumped up in shock as a hunched figure walked through the door. They were badly burned, looking blackened and charred. I looked over at Dean and Hannah in shock, but the two of them were carrying on their conversation as if nothing had happened. The figure began advancing on me, slow and shuffling. It lifted its head to look at me and I realized who it was.

  "Mother?" She showed no indication of having heard me, simply continuing to shuffle towards me. I began to back away.

  "Castiel..." Mother's voice was raspy an rough, completely changed from the smooth tones I remembered. I stumbled over an uneven stone and fell, the breath fleeing from my lungs. Mother suddenly moved with great agility, standing over me in mere seconds. I tried to say something, to call for help, but the words would not come. Dean and Hannah still sat by the fire, but now they were watching me, staring at me, with no apparent interest in helping.

  "Castiel..." Mother was here to take me back with her, but I didn't want to go, I didn't want to go anymore, I wanted to stay. My breath had returned, but I still couldn't speak or move, only able to watch as Mother reached out towards my face. She was just about to touch me when suddenly - 

  "Cas!" I jolted awake with tears drying on my face as Dean hovered over me, looking concerned. I sat up slowly, wiping the tears off my cheeks.

  "Are you okay?" Dean asked. I nodded. The shock of the nightmare was fading, leaving only embarrassment that Dean had been here for some of it.

  "It was just a bad dream. I'm sorry," I said.

  "Don't apologize. Everyone has bad dreams," Dean said, putting a hand on my shoulder. I nodded absentmindedly, my eyes stuck on the chairs by the fire where Dean and Hannah had been sitting in my dream.

  "It wasn't real," Dean said, squeezing my shoulder. I blinked a few times, forcing myself out of my thoughts.

  "I know. Was that three hours?" I asked. Dean nodded. I gave him a small smile.

  "Then let's go."