Destined

Chapter 19

  I didn't see anyone else for the rest of the day, sitting mostly in silence until late that night, when there was a knock on my door. I had a brief moment of panic that it was Hannah and that I would have to explain why I'd missed dinner, but when I opened the door, it was Dean that was standing there, looking serious.

  "Dean. Come in," I said, standing aside and letting Dean walk in. I was almost happy to see him, but I also assumed that he had known about this whole thing, sending any happiness I might have felt fluttering away like a butterfly.

  "Cas. Sam told me about what happened," Dean said when I closed the door, my wings fluttering slightly despite my attempts to keep them still.

  "Did he tell you what I told him? It would be tiring to repeat the whole thing," I said, not meeting his eyes. Dean nodded, looking at the floor.

  "Yeah, he told me all of it," he said. "Look, I'm sorry, but we have to do what's best for Terren. That's what this whole marriage is about anyway, right? Doing what's best for our kingdoms. And I promise that I'll keep Hannah out of the war." I watched Dean for a moment before speaking.

  "If she gets hurt, I will kill you myself, and that is a promise," I said coldly. Dean looked up, meeting my eyes.

  "And I promise that you won't have to," he said. The two of us watched each other in silence for a moment.

  "Is that all?" I asked eventually.

  "There is one more thing," Dean said. I watched him in silence, barely daring to hope that this might be an apology, or an offer to rekindle their friendship. Tell me you care. Dean glanced down at the floor, seeming nervous.

  "Sam never got that promise that you wouldn't tell anyone," he said when he looked back up at me. The slow warmth that had been building in my chest ran cold in a flash and my wings drooped slightly.

  "You already had it. I would never betray you, Dean. But if the words mean that much, then fine. I promise I won't tell anyone your incredibly rash plan," I said. Dean nodded and turned back towards the door, pausing for a moment. I wanted to be glad to see him go, but every part of me was begging him to stay. Make this right. Make this right. Don't leave, not yet, please. A part of me even imagined that Dean heard me somehow, that he and I needed no words. But then he was out the door and I felt myself deflate. Dean had plenty of friends without me, and he would have Hannah to confide in soon enough, I would be back home, and it would be like nothing had ever happened. 

  I gave Dean time to get far away before I went out the door myself to find Meg. I couldn't burden Hannah with any of this, not when she had so many problems of her own, and obviously I couldn't talk to Dean, which left only the options of Meg or talking to empty space and pretending my mother was there. I didn't know where to find Meg, however, so I was  left wandering through the silent castle with nothing but my thoughts to keep me company. Really, I preferred the castle when it was empty. I had never been a huge fan of being around lots of people, especially people I didn't know. Being alone was so much easier. No one was telling you what to think, or trying to pressure you to do anything. When my brother ran away, I almost went with him. I'd loved my brother, and the things he'd said had made sense. But I hadn't been able to leave my family. And now here I am, in a strange land, with no mother, and about to lose Hannah to marriage. What family did I have left? The only ones left at home were Father and Michael. 

  I stopped at a window that looked out over the town and watched the buildings. The streets were lit by lanterns, but I couldn't tell if many people were out and about. Probably not. 

  "Wow, you look broody." I looked around suddenly, startled, to see Charlie smiling at me from a few feet away.

  "I didn't think anyone would be up at this hour," I said, turning to face her. Charlie blushed slightly.

  "Hannah and I were talking and we lost track of time," she said. I smiled. 

  "Thank you, by the way. Hannah really needed a friend here. I'm glad she found you," I said. Charlie smiled softly, walking over to stand next to me by the window.

  "Your sister is an exceptional woman," she said. "Dean is a lucky man." I looked over at Charlie and was taken aback by the longing I saw in her eyes. I was confused for only a moment before it hit me.

  "You love her." Charlie didn't respond immediately, and I suppose I didn't need a response. I stared at Charlie during the silence, my head reeling with the realization. 

  "I won't try to get between her and Dean. I know I have no right to her. She's of royal blood, I never had a chance. But I do love her, and I will continue to love her until my dying day," Charlie said eventually. I reached out and Charlie flinched, probably expecting me to hit her, but I took her hand instead.

  "You deserve better than to love one who can't love you back. I wish it could be different," I said. Charlie squeezed my hand, then let go. 

  "Thank you. I'm sorry life sucks balls for you too." I giggled at that, all previous tension leaving the room. Charlie grinned at me and gave a small bow before turning and walking down the hallway, humming a song to herself as she went. I looked back out the window at the town of Lebanon with a smile on my face. I was sorry that Charlie had fallen in love with someone so irrevocably off limits as Hannah, but I was also glad that Hannah would still have someone who loved her when I left. I could only hope I might have the same.