The Free Pass

Chapter 58

Mallory

My heart leapt with happy relief when Shawn opened the door to the condo and smiled at me. I'd been so worried that he'd be angry.

He sat down next to me wanting to talk. I knew it was what we needed to do, but I was scared. Our talks had ended in fights lately.

Gracie finished up nursing and I pulled her away from my boob. Shawn reached out his hands to take her so she could be burped. I handed her over and fixed my bra and shirt.

"Why did you leave, Mal?" he asked me as he patted Grace's back.

"I thought you wanted me to leave," I said quietly. "You said you were done."

"I just meant I was done with that conversation. I needed to cool off. I'm sorry if I wasn't clear."

"My emotions were running high and my mind went to the worst possible scenario. I thought you were agreeing with me that we needed space or time apart." I paused for a second. "Honestly, Shawn, I'm not completely sure that we don't. I'm back now because I acted on impulse and didn't think things through. I'm not so sure you and I don't need to talk further about the idea of a separation."

Shawn just stared at me for a moment, though the expression on his face said everything he couldn't find words for.

Finally he spoke.

"No."

I expected more. He usually had so much to say.

"No?"

"No. No, you should not have left and you shouldn't think about leaving," he said calmly. He was holding our baby so yelling wasn't an option.

"We don't seem to be capable of working things out," I said.

He shook his head and then got up to put Grace on her activity mat. She immediately grabbed a monkey rattle that seemed to be her favorite these days.

Shawn sat back down right next to me. He leaned in and gave me a soft kiss on the mouth, which seemed very out of place given what had transpired today. But it felt wonderful. I'd missed his kisses.

"Do you love me Mallory?"

"Yes. You know I do."

He smiled. "I do know that. And your love for me makes my life complete. The fact that you've given me Gracie and your love is everything to me."

He took my hands in his before continuing.

"I love you, too. You may doubt it, but I know it's true."

When he said it like that, I doubted him less. It felt real.

"Mal, honey, we love each other. That means we can work things out. Maybe it won't be easy, but we can do it."

"How can you be so sure?" I asked.

"You're the one. You're my only one. I know that you and I are destined to be together for the rest of our lives. I can picture us forty years from now surrounded by grandchildren in a big house in the country. I just know that's our future."

Hot tears started to spill down my cheeks. Shawn brought a hand to my face and wiped them away with his thumb.

"I need you to stop being a quitter, baby. When things get tough, you need to stop saying you're going to leave. You actual did it today, and that killed me. I can't live in constant fear that I might lose you and Gracie. I need to know that you're going to fight for us," he said, his caramel eyes looking deeply into mine.