The Free Pass

Chapter 38

Mallory

Vera and Kris arrived on Friday night. Shawn offered to keep Gracie in the bedroom with him so that we could have a child-free girls night in. My friends laughed at that suggestion. They refused to let Grace leave the room. In fact, I had to act as referee several times when they fought over who got to hold her.

"She's the most beautiful baby in the world," Kris said as she held Grace in her arms after dinner. "She has your eyes, but these tiny brown curls are all Shawn."

Vera wiped some tears away. "I'm just so happy for you guys. You are the perfect family."

Shawn had joined us and was sitting next to me. We exchanged a quick look upon hearing her words. Sometimes it was hard to live a lie in front of everyone.

"Are you two thinking about having another? Because you should. You are really good at this," Kris said.

"Um, no," I replied. "The thought of being pregnant and going through labor again terrifies me."

Vera looked at Shawn. "You feel the same way?"

He shrugged. "I'd knock Mal up this minute if she let me." He then winked at me.

"You are hilarious," I said to him. "That's not going to happen."

Shawn pulled me close to him and kissed me on the head. "You never know, baby."

Sometimes he was both infuriating and adorable in the same moment, and it fucked with my emotions.

Grace got hungry and I fed her. Shawn then put her down in her crib after changing her diaper and putting her in a sleeper. When he was done he popped his head out of the room.

"I'm just going to lay down in here with her," he told us.

After he shut the door, Vera turned to me. "Does one of you sleep in there with her? I noticed the bed."

"She just started sleeping in her own room, so sometimes one of us will start out in the room with her," I explained.

God I hated lying. Both girls were staying with us and crashing on the couch. We had to sleep together while they were here, though I wondered if Shawn was just going to stay in Grace's room all night. He could always say he fell deep asleep.

"It's probably good she's out of your room since I'm sure you two are banging every night," Kris teased.

I laughed. "Well, just so you know, your sex drive isn't that strong after having a baby."

"Yeah, but you are married to Shawn Mendes. I'm surprised you can even walk. He's so fucking hot, and he's always looking at you like he can't wait to get you alone. I seriously am not settling down until I find a man who looks at me like that," Kris said.

"What? He does not look at me any particular way."

Vera chuckled. "Open your eyes, Mallory. When you are in the room, his eyes are on you and they scream 'sex!' The only thing that distracts him at all is Grace. And by the way, could he be any more adorable with her? My fucking ovaries exploded watching him hold her."

"He's a wonderful father," I admitted.

It was weird that I never noticed how Shawn looked at me. He'd always looked at me the same way. It was what I was used to. Maybe Vera and Kris were just reading way too much into it.

~~~~~~

We'd decided that Shawn's party would start out as a late dinner that his friends and family would all come to. It would turn into more of a party as the night wore on. Anyone was welcome to stay, but it was fine if some people, like his relatives, chose to bow out once the liquor really started flowing.

I'd offered to organize everything since Shawn was busy in the studio. I couldn't handle all the cooking with a two month old baby, so I hired a caterer. I also hired someone to take care of the bar. And I got the cake made at the bakery Shawn had used for my birthday, though his cake was much bigger since there would be more people eating it. I'd sat down with the baker and we'd decided on a big sheet cake with an illustration of the Toronto skyline covering the entire top of the cake.

It seemed like I wasn't doing much, considering I was hiring out for most of it, but it took a lot of time to plan. This really got me excited for the party. I wanted Shawn to have an amazing birthday; he deserved it.

I'd struggled with what I should get him and had settled on a gift certificate for his favorite guitar shop in LA. After he'd bought me the car, I felt I needed to do more. It was strange purchasing anything at all since technically it was his money. He'd given me a debit card for his bank account, so anything I bought would come from that. I had very little money of my own and I was afraid to spend it since eventually I would need it to move out. I decided that instead of making another big purchase with his money, I'd do something creative instead.

When I had free time during the week, which was often when Karen came by as she'd planned to do, I worked on a scrapbook. I put in sonogram pictures, pictures of Grace when she was born, and tons of pictures of Gracie and Shawn together. It was all about the two of them and was going to be from her. I was pleased with how it turned out.

Kris and Vera helped us get the place in shape for the party. Shawn had already gotten dressed, as had the girls. While they waited for the caterer, I went to the master bedroom and got myself ready. I picked out a short black dress with straps wide enough to hide my ugly nursing bra. I'd tried on a cuter bra, but none of my old bras fit my bigger boobs. I pulled on some spanx panties because my tummy still pooched out a bit. I opted for a low heel.

I put quite a bit of effort into my hair and make-up. I styled my hair in a loose up-do with lots of wavy strands framing my face. I put on make-up that accentuated my blue eyes. As I looked in the mirror, I was pleased with the results.

I stepped out of the bedroom and joined everyone in the living area.

"Holy fuck, Mal," Shawn said breathlessly when he saw me.

"Do I look okay?" I asked.

"Baby, you are perfection," he said as he looked me up and down.

I could feel myself blushing.

Kris and Vera exchanged a look.

"Do you see what we were saying last night?" Vera whispered as she handed Grace to me.

I nodded. I had seen it just then.

The food arrived while I was getting ready, and the caterer had set it out on the dining room table. I'd ordered a huge array of Mexican food. I saw the big bowl of guacamole and remembered my intense cravings. I still liked it, but I didn't need it like I had during those last few months of pregnancy.

The guests started arriving and things started hopping. Grace was stimulated by all the new faces and the sounds of the party. She didn't really like being passed around to strangers, though, so Manny, Karen, Aaliyah and I took turns holding her. Shawn was busy greeting people and mingling.

Everyone enjoyed the food, and the entree items were gone after a couple hours. There were still tons of lighter appetizer-type items to munch on. We'd decided that cake and presents would come a bit later.

I'd pumped two bottles for this night. If I wanted to drink, I could use those. There was a margarita station set up, and I was feeling pretty tempted. I excused myself and took Gracie to her room to feed her before I got a drink. That way, she'd only need the bottle in the middle of the night.

About an hour after she'd eaten, she was obviously getting tired, which was no surprise since it was way past her bedtime. Shawn went with me to put her down in her crib. We stood there watching her sleep for several minutes. Shawn moved behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. As he leaned closer to whisper to me, I could smell the tequila on his breath.

"Thanks for a great birthday, hun," he said in my ear, his warm breath tickling me.

"You haven't even gotten your presents yet," I said.

"There's only one thing I want, Mallory," he said. He then let go of me and walked out of the room.

I turned the video monitor on and grabbed the receiver to carry with me. I went straight to the kitchen where the bar was set up and got a large margarita. I needed one. Badly.