twelve| suspicion

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Dear Simon,

I know I should have told you, I just didn't know how and keeping it from you seemed like the best option at the time. I never act correctly under pressure, that's a given fact and you know that. When you started to suspect things I just wanted to run away and hide, I didn't want to break your heart, I knew even contemplating the offer would cause a fuss.

I love you, and no matter where I am, I will always love you.

Love, Daisy xoxo

"Have you always liked me, like while we were growing up?" I asked Simon curiously, we lay spread it across his bed, my head resting on his chest

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"Have you always liked me, like while we were growing up?" I asked Simon curiously, we lay spread it across his bed, my head resting on his chest.

The rising and falling of his chest caused by his steady breathing was soothing, could easily calm any storm.

"I think so, I mean, I'd always told myself you were off limits but here we are."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, what I'm trying to say is that I've practically been in love with you for ages but told myself not to because I didn't want to ruin our friendship and you aren't really one for relationships."

I quickly swiveled my head around to catch a proper look at him, in complete disbelief.

"JJ always told me to tell you, but it scared me shitless when I imagined the millions of ways you could've rejected me," Simon continued raising a hand to stroke my hair.

We lay wrapped up together, in a comfortable silence after that. Enjoying each other's company, while I tried really hard to pretend that I hadn't opened that letter, that I hadn't spoken to Talia about him.

That none of the things that were circling my head, stealing my thoughts and tearing my heart with guilt.

I felt bad, really bad. A normal relationship shouldn't start off with secrets, from the people hiding information from each other.

Well one party hiding information.

The thing about us is that this wasn't a normal relationship.

Suddenly, breaking the silence, my phone rang. We both looked at it, myself unsure if I should answer.

Talia.

I answered it, putting it on loudspeaker so Simon could hear, hoping Talia was going to spring up a normal conversation.

I guess I put it on loudspeaker because I wanted to convince myself that I wasn't hiding anything.

"Hey, how's it going?"

"Good," I replied coolly. "You?"

She sighed into the phone, I could feel the deep regret sinking into my stomach, awaiting her next words.

"I'm alright, I wanted to go shopping though, I need some more clothes."

I broke into a smile, thanking God for her keeping her mouth shut.

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