Little Miss Different [in editing]

24: Meltdown

Content note: carries on off previous themes, including running away and ableism. This chapter also contains a depiction of a meltdown and the use of ableist words such as the r-word.

Break time.

Katie shifts from one foot to the other in the queue. The smells of pastry, fruit and sticky juice mingle together in a really disgusting way that makes Katie feel even more uncomfortable. Every so often, the queue shifts forward then stops, leaving Katie trapped in a crowd of tall, loud year tens and high-pitched, squeaky year twos.

She has to focus on getting through the queue. Lots of deep breaths. Katie clenches her fists and breathes in then releases the tension in her hands and breathes out. She does this repetitively, unaware of some of the year twos looking at her oddly. Not that she cares what they think anyway.

At least, that's what she tells herself.

She does feel a bit out of place anyway, here, with others in her year excited over the latest episodes of different T.V. shows she's never seen, giggling about childhood crushes, laughing over others failure.

The line shuffles forward and an impatient group of teens push against her as they try to cut through the queue.

"Get out the way, st*pid," says one.

"Hello? Didn't you hear us? Move."

"Ugh, what a r*tarded-"

"Shush! The teach's coming!"

Katie takes a deep breath as the line moves forward again, ignoring the teenagers. Katie doesn't need to bless them with her time.

Finally, the queue is at the food stalls. Katie's small amount of pocket money change jangles in her hand as she counts it. Two pounds forty-two pence exactly.

There's an iced bun for twenty pence and a unicorn cupcake for a pound. Apparently, they're leftovers from a bake sale the day before. Katie buys both and pays at the counter. The mingling smells and loud noises are beginning to hurt Katie's nose and ears but she tries to ignore it as she slides into the table. She bites into the iced bun and the icing gets stuck between her teeth almost immediately. Normally Katie wouldn't mind and just go to the bathroom to fix it but with all the other sensory stuff happening around her she begins to panic. The icing is wedged between her teeth and it's hurting and and and and and and-

Katie tries to take a deep breath but she knocks the unicorn cupcake and it falls to the floor. She watches in horror as the horn smashes into the ground and icing erupts over the rest of it, smushing the cute unicorn face into an unrecognisable mess. Quivering with anxiety, Katie grabs the unicorn cupcake and shoves it onto the table, tears glistening at the bottoms of her eyes.

Then somebody walks behind her and pushes her forward inadvertently but Katie flies into the table and bangs her chest hard on the edge. It hurts hurts hurts hurts-

Somebody screams with laughter and the sound pierces through Katie's eardrums and it's loud loud loud loud-

She can hear somebody chewing loudly going chew chew chew chew-

Her breathing has gotten faster and now she's worried she's going hyperventilate but it makes it worse worse worse worse-

She glances at the unicorn and it's ruined ruined ruined ruined-

She doesn't want to be here, she wants Lucie, she wants Ralph, she wants Amancia, she wants her friends, it's so big and crowded and loud and horrible in here-

Suddenly Katie panics. Loud. Crowded. Big. Horrible. She can't see a way out. She can't see the door. Her hands flap harder and harder. People are staring now. Loud. Crowded. Big. Horrible. Where's the door? Where's it gone? She panics even more, beginning to wail as tears fall from her eyes. Loud. Crowded. Big. Horrible. Her wail turns into a panicked bawl. Katie drops the floor crying, curling up into a tiny ball on the floor, her eyes scrunched tight, her hands over her ears, screaming into her school uniform. It's too big, it's too loud, it's too crowded, it's too horrible.

"Katie!" she hears. It sounds a little robotic, like the voice on Lucie's text-to-speech app. "Katie, it's me. It's Lucie. I'm here."

"Lucie, shall I go and get the SENCo?" asks somebody. Katie thinks it's Amanda, but she can barely hear over her own wailing.

"Yes please," replies Lucie. "Katie, we're going to go get the nice Learning Support miss, and she's going to bring you lots of sensory toys, yeah?"

Lucie slowly helps Katie sit up. Some people are offering tissues for her tears and pens to fiddle with. Some people give her hairbands to stretch and other various things they have on them that they can use to help Katie calm down.

Miss Starling arrives with the nurse and they crouch down the floor with Katie, making sure not to crowd her. Katie is wailing something inaudibly about what happened whilst turning a lipstick around and around and then back again. Lucie tells the two adults what she saw. The nurse gives Katie a squishy mushroom to play with.

Across the other side of the dining hall

"I think she's having a meltdown," says Winter.

"I hope she's okay," says Ellie. "That's Katherine Himura, right?"

"Right," confirms Rebecca.

Aasma sighs. "I think she'll be okay. Miss Starling and Mrs. Long are with her," they reassure their friends.

"You're right," says Winter. "I'll just go over and ask if there's anything I can do to help calm her down."

Winter swings her #REDInstead bag over her shoulder and walks over. "I've got lots of stim toys in here," she explains to the adults and Katherine Himura, opening her bag, shoving some study guides out of the way. "Which one do you want?"

Katherine points at the gel pad, lip quivering, eyes watery.

"Thanks, Winter," says Mrs. Long.

Winter smiles. "You can keep it if you want," she says to Katherine.

[Image description: Another beautiful piece of artwork by @LotusWaterlily! The wall tiles are a duck egg (or robin's egg) blue with a yellowy-white background. Katie is smiling with a bit of a blush and is holding a grey tray of cat-head-shaped cookies. She has brown eyes. Her black hair is in a long plait down to the crook of her left arm and is done up by a pink hairband. She is wearing a bright pink top and a lacy red apron patterned with flowers with a pretty red bow. I imagine she was helped in a Food Tech class on a non-uniform day to make these! Thank you so much, LotusWaterlily! (I have a feeling I may have already used this image but I'm not sure).]

Hi! It is me again. Did you know nominations for thefictionawards is now open? Because it is! Go vote for your favourite books, but make sure to follow the rules so your vote doesn't get deleted. Nominations end 20th May, so be quick! Please leave a vote and/or a comment on this chapter!