Our Deepest Scars

Chapter 43

The smaller girl was torn between halting Lauren with a kiss and leaning her head on her shoulder, or continuing to gaze at her girlfriend's ethereal face. She decided on the latter, loving the way Lauren's expression made her feel as she spoke about their love story.

"So after a few years of loving this girl from afar and wishing desperately that we could be together but not knowing if she felt the same way, we kissed. That kiss, even though I was lying in a hospital bed, was the happiest I'd felt since I first laid eyes on her. It made me feel something real, and if I could encapsulate that feeling so that I could experience it over and over again, I would in a heartbeat."

"And then when she asked me to be her girlfriend while we were surrounded by a rainforest full of enchanting butterflies, which is the only metaphor that can fully capture our relationship, I felt that happiness again. Because I knew that she really did feel the same way about me as I did about her. And that meant everything to me."

Camila was glad she hadn't looked away, as the look on Lauren's face made her insides flutter just the like butterflies that her girlfriend was describing. A lump was beginning to form in her throat, effectively preventing her from interrupting again.

"But every story has to have some kind of struggle. Something that the characters have to work through, even though sometimes it seems impossible that they will be able to do so. This is the case in this story. The girl who I spend so much time laughing with, talking with and kissing has been through an unfair amount of toil. Countless times I've found her curled up in a tiny ball in her bunk, drowning in a seemingly bottomless pit of despair. I've tried, throughout the time that we've spent together, to help her rebuild the foundation of her life brick by brick, weathering the storms that have come our way and putting up armor to protect against enemies, even when they come from within."

"Some of the scars are too deep to heal, but we have to accept that. All we can do is love each other and hope that no new scars form. But if they do, that's okay. Because we've healed from so many wounds before that we've become warriors against the pain. And even on the days where it feels futile to even try to fight the demons, we have each other to battle next to against the abyss of pain that we sometimes find ourselves overwhelmed by."

Lauren reached up to wipe a stray tear that had fallen from Camila's eye with the pad of her thumb, and the smaller girl grasped her hand before she could remove it and kissed the back of it delicately. "I love you," she murmured.

"I love you too," the older girl replied. "Can I finish the story?"

"Of course. I want to know what happens," Camila whispered, quickly leaning in to kiss Lauren's lips before she continued. "Okay, carry on," she smiled after pulling away.

"Alright," Lauren prepared to carry on. "So, we have always had each other's backs, right from when we first met. But this girl has given me more than just someone to defend me, and I hope I've given her more than just someone to help her through trouble, even though that is a key part of any relationship. I hope I've given her someone to have fun with, to trust with secrets, to talk about nothing with and to laugh with. This girl has certainly given me all those things and more. She's given me someone that occupies my thoughts whether I'm awake or asleep. She's given me the opportunity to be myself more that I ever thought I'd be able to. She's given me a shoulder to cry on but also a smile that brightens my day more than the sun ever could. And finally, she's given me that incredible feeling of butterflies in my stomach that I'll never get tired of and never stop feeling when I look at her or hear her voice."

Smiling softly, Lauren brushed her fingertips against the sliver locket that was lying on top of the lace of Camila's dress. She traced the outline of the butterfly engraved upon it and almost at once the fluttering in her stomach got even more rapid than it already was due to her extreme nervousness. Glancing shyly upwards, she observed Camila's deep brown eyes staring into her own green ones, and saw the passion and love reflected in them. The older girl couldn't help but blush, and Camila noticed; she stroked Lauren's cheek gently and nodded for her to continue. Both girls were starting to tear up, but Lauren was determined to finish what she had planned to say.