Our Deepest Scars

Chapter 14

When they finally tore their tender gazes away from each other, Lauren decided to talk to Camila about something. Even though she knew it might puncture the happy bubble they were currently residing in, it was too important to wait.

"Camz?" the older girl asked cautiously, moving away slightly so that she could turn and face the smaller brunette.

Camila turned her head back to face the girl. Immediately she saw the serious look on Lauren's face and matched her mood accordingly. It wasn't hard; Camila's mood was often serious.

"What's wrong?" she questioned, suddenly feeling a rush of nerves shoot through her. What if Lauren thought that them being in a relationship was a bad idea? What if she had decided Camila wasn't worth her time?

But she didn't anticipate what Lauren really had to say.

Before starting to talk, Lauren pulled her phone out of her back pocket, unlocked it and went straight onto the internet. A website was already up on the screen from what Camila could see. She struggled to read the upside down writing, but deduced that the large, bright image on the page was of a middle aged woman, who was looking thoughtful and staring just past the camera.

"Laur, what's that?"

"Hang on..." Lauren muttered, clicking various things on the screen. "There. Okay."

Camila was apprehensive about what Lauren was going to show her. It didn't seem like she was about to be rejected by the older girl but at the same time, she had a bad feeling.

"Camz, I really don't want you to be mad at me when I show you this," the green eyed brunette began tentatively, "but I've been discussing this with Ally, Mani and Dinah and they think it's for the best."

The smaller girl's racing heart sank. They'd been talking about her. Camila hated knowing that she had been the focus of one of their conversations at which she hadn't been present. It made her feel both guilty and ashamed. She just wanted to be normal; she didn't want solemn conversations to be held about her behind closed doors. Particularly by the people she considered to be her best friends.

Seeing the downcast look on Camila's face, Lauren placed a gentle hand on top of the other girl's. However, she decided to carry on with what she was saying. "I want to show you a website," she spoke before passing her iPhone to Camila. The smaller girl's brown eyes narrowed instantly as she focused on the screen before her.

"Laur—" she began, before being cut off.

"Wait a second before you say no." Lauren was resolved to persuade Camila to at least give this idea a chance. "I know you don't like opening up to people about how you feel and what you're going through, but I've been doing a lot of research."

"When?" Camila interrupted, unable to stop the question rushing out of her mouth.

"When I was in the hospital. Obviously when you fainted and talked about not having eaten for days, I figured out that something was up with you. And I already knew that you were hiding something. And how much you changed since before, when you used to be happy and bubbly all the time. So I did some research on the internet and found some therapists that I think you would really benefit from talking to," the older girl explained. She saw Camila's expression and hurried on with her talking. "I haven't booked you in or anything, you know...just in case you didn't want to go. But I really think you should, Camz. I want to help you so badly but I haven't got the knowledge or understanding to. At least with this lady, you can talk about as much or little as you want and be fully honest without worrying she'll judge you."

Lauren ended with that, and examined the smaller girl. She was staring at the floor in silence. Well done, Lauren thought bitterly. Now you've upset her.