Jump ➸ c.h.

xiii

calum

"charlie, have i ever told you how much i love you hair?" i asked, lazily twirling my fingers through her faded lilac waves.

yesterday after we had finished practicing the songs, we made our way over to charlie's apartment. all we did was watch tv, then fall asleep in her bed, which is where we were now.

"i don't think so." she said, letting out a yawn. i smiled, she sounded adorable when she yawned. i wasn't sure how that was possible, but she did sound cute. anything charlie did was cute, i loved her, everything about her.

you hear those stories about how people fall in love years after knowing someone, but for me, it took me a couple weeks. just a couple of weeks to find love, it had been that simple. and to think, i found beautiful love over something so ugly and terrible. the only problem was that i still felt as though i needed the ugly and terrible thing in my life, and there was no getting rid of the desperation for it, charlie only eased the need.

"well, i do love it. i love how soft it is, i could play with it all day." i said, smiling," i think your hair might be my new favorite color."

"speaking about the color of my hair, i was thinking about dying it. what color do you think i should get? i know you love this one, but i think it's time for a change of looks." charlie said, and i dropped the strand of hair i had been playing with. although i was dissapointed she was getting a new color, i was happy to see what she would look like with a new one. i'm sure she would look beautiful, she always did.

"hmm," i hummed, laying my face against the back of charlie's neck, breathing in the comforting scent of her. charlie had a distinctive, unique scent, and i loved it, "what about blue? you would look pretty with a royal blue."

there was a silence, and i could tell charlie was thinking about having royal blue hair. the more i thought about it, the more i wanted her to do it.

"i think i'll do that, it might actually look really cool." she said, cutting the silence.

i smiled, "awesome, make sure to have me over when you finish dying it." i kissed charlie's neck, causing her to push her head in an angle that gave me more access to her neck.

i sat up, needing to get in a more comfortable position. charlie laid on her back, understanding what i was trying to do. i put one leg on either side of her waist, hovering over charlie's body.

i lowered my face, trailing soft kisses from the corner of her mouth, all the way to her ear. i sucked on the spot just below it, earning a sigh of content from charlie. my lips worked their way down to her right collarbone, sucking harshly on it. after i was sure there was a mark there, i licked over the area gingerly.

i sat up again, looking down at charlie. she looked content, and her baby blue eyes were hazy.

her hands trailed up my arms, and slowly made their way to the back of my head. i felt her fingers twirl themselves in my hair, and she pushed my head down, our lips meeting.

charlie worked her mouth against mine, and i felt her tongue trace my bottom lip. knowing what she wanted, i opened my mouth, our tongues touching. i let out a soft moan, loving how this felt. i had only made out with one other person, it was in middle school and i had been wasted.

i pulled away for air, my breathing heavy and irregular, "fuck, i love you so much." i sighed.

i felt charlie's hands tug on the hem of my sweater, asking me to take it off. i felt my face heat up, i couldn't take it off... well, i could, i just really didn't want to.

when i didn't take it off, she started pulling it up, trying to do it herself, but i smacked her hands away, pulling my sweater back down. charlie furrowed her eyebrows, obviously confused. i only shook my head, getting off of her.

"i wasn't going to make you... you know, have sex." charlie said, blushing.

"i know, i just can't take my sweater off." i mumbled, sitting up against the wall charlie's bed was next to, pulling my knees to my chest.

"why?" she sat up directly across from me, looking into my eyes with a concerned expression.

"i just didn't want to, i dunno." i shrugged.

deep down inside, i knew why i really hadn't wanted to take my sweater off.

"calum, we both know that's a lie. you can be honest with me, you tell me everything. i won't ever hurt or judge you." charlie said, brushing a piece of hair behind her ear.

i let out a sigh, "i can't tell you why, you'd think i was a wimp."

she shook her head, "i would never think that. you're one of the strongest people i know."

"that's a lie, i'm not strong at all!" i scoffed, rolling my eyes.

"yes you are, calum. if you weren't strong, you wouldn't be here right now. every breath you take is a sign of how strong you are."

i felt my eyes start to water up, charlie cared for me so much. i was honestly the luckiest person in the world, she was so amazing. i knew i could trust charlie, i was just afraid that she would think less of me because of my reasoning behind not getting shirtless.

i let out a long sigh, "i self harm, that's why i didn't want you to see me shirtless. if you saw me without my sweater, then you'd see all my cuts, and i didn't want you to see them."

charlie shook her head, getting on her knees so that she was level with my face, "calum, i don't think any less of you now that i know that. in fact, now i think you're even stronger." she said, looking me in the eyes.

i blinked, feeling tears slip down my cheeks, causing me to curse under my breath. i hastily used my sweater sleeve to wipe my tears away.

"i love you so much, you need to realize that. nothing you do could make me love you any less than i do now." she continued, and i started to cry harder.

i instantly put my legs down, allowing myself room to hug charlie. i wrapped my arms tightly around her, silently sobbing into the crook of her neck while she rubbed my back soothingly.

"shh, calum, don't cry." she murmured.

i nodded, pulling away and wiping my tears, smiling, "i don't know what i'd do without you." i said.

"i don't know what i'd do without you." charlie responded, returning a grin.

"want to go get breakfast? i know a cute little place that we can walk to, it's right down the street." i suggested, and she nodded.

when we finally left, i couldn't help but smile all the way to the restaurant.

i loved charlie.

charlie loved me.

*

oh my god i haven't updated in forever, please forgive me. i've been so busy lately, like i've literally had no time to write.

i think this was a cute chapter, though, so maybe it makes up for the gap of no updates?

p.s. thank you guys so much for 10k reads! holy shit!