Playboy ~ Jay Park

ten

I walk the streets- they were empty at this hour of almost midnight on a Sunday. I wanted to go see Ross. I don't care anymore about anything else but all I wanted to see was him. I took the empty subway to Ross's apartment building.

To Ross:

Are you home, I need to talk...

From Ross:

Yes, I'm on the 12 floor number 287.

I got in the elevator and once I got to the floor and I looked for room 287. Once I found it I knocked twice on the door. Ross opened the door with a smile.

"Hello Arden how are you?" My eyes started to water and I felt tears come down quickly. Suddenly I felt Ross run his arms around me hugging me tightly. I started crying hysterically  thinking about how this night has gone. "Come inside, please." He let go and guided me into his living room. I sat on the couch and he sat on the other side. "What's wrong?" He asks.

"Why did you have to call me and tell me all of this... I just want to be with Jay." I cried.

"If you don't love him, why are you with him?"

"Cause he is all I have. I'm so alone here. I'm always been alone. He makes me feel happy and I'm waiting for the feeling of love to wash over me but I can't get there yet. I don't even know anymore, Ross. I care about him so much and maybe I'm confusing myself." I rambled.

"I'm sorry if that's how you feel, I don't know what to tell you... uh... Maybe there is someone you like more?" Ross said scooting towards me to wrap his arm around me. Memory's cloud my mind of back when I was California for college, my first real love. He was sweet, kind, and a great liar.

"No ... maybe ... I don't know Ross maybe I love him." I said looking to the lights from the window.

"I thought you didn't love Jay?" He asked.

"I think I need to leave. Thanks for the talk." I got up and went back to Jay's apartment. I wasn't going to let this go unresolved. I knock on the grand doors and I hear Jay's footsteps. He opens the door and I don't even hesitate to kiss him. He quickly kisses back and he wraps his arms around my waist while guiding into the penthouse. He breaks the kiss to close the door and he grabs my hand and we head to his bedroom.

"I love you, Jay so fucking much. I didn't mean anything I said earlier, I need you. Your my everything, I do love you." I smile saying the words I've been wanting to say but been way too scared of saying. Not every guy is going to be like Cody, this is Jay Park, not that liar who dumped me for a "up and coming" model.

"I love you too. Can we sleep, it's too late right now to talk about feelings." Jay said as we got into bed. I lay down turning my back against Jay looking out the window thinking until his arm wraps around my waist and he kisses my cheek. "It's never too late to talk about feelings, and if we don't talk about it now, when will we?"

"I'm sorry, I really have stalled about telling you that I love you." I swallowed hard and kept looking out the window.

"I'm sorry I was forcing you, you shouldn't feel rushed into this. I know this was is such a lane change from California and university to Seoul and being with a guy who spends a lot of money on you." I turn to Jay and there is a silent few seconds before he and I were kissing.

———

Jay and I walk into the AOMG office building together before saying our goodbyes to work on our own projects. I put Spotify on while working on Gray's new singles. I had a lot to do but I still couldn't focus. My brain was so clouded but tired to plow through business stuff. All I needed to do was get some work done but I couldn't even put aside thoughts from last night away. Jogging through the streets of Seoul while all my mascara and eyeliner dripping down my face was something a never thought would happen. Just as I got lost in my own thoughts I looked at the time 12:43. LUNCH TIME! I make my way down to the elevator and press to go to the top door.

"Do you have an appointment with Jay?" the newest receptionist, Seo-yun, asked.

"I'm his girlfriend, I don't need one." I smile as I open the large glassy-black door to his office.

"Hello Arden." Jay looks up but quickly looks back down to his computer screen. "What do you need?"

"Lunch, do you wanna go out somewhere or do you want me to grab you something and we could eat here while you work?"

"Can you give me like maybe five to ten minutes? I'm will finish up this one thing and I can take you anywhere you want. So in the meantime, figure out where you wanna go." He smiled and then motioned me to sit on the dark couch in front of his desk. I let the sound of him typing fill the room while I thought of where to eat. "Okay I am done, did you figure out where to eat?"

"Yes, can we go to the place about a block away? It's got like burgers, sandwiches, and salads, very american style." I say as Jay gets up and opens the door for me. Once we get to a table at the diner and order, I speak up.

"What are we gonna do for your birthday in a week?"

"I am glad that you asked, I was thinking about getting a few close friends, like maybe around five or six, and heading for Singapore for a weekend." Jay smiled.

"That sounds super fun, Singapore has been one of places I've always wanted to go to." I smiled back, I am so excited.

"Who said you are going?" Jay said laughing I pout until he says, "I'm kidding honey, of course you are coming and I'm thinking we need to go shopping or something becaues Singapore is for high rollers and a lot of paparazzi so we gonna go stuntin."

"You makin a crack about my clothes now?" I smile, "I'll go online shopping no worries, fashion nova and pretty thing can get some stuff over quickly. They have some super cute pieces for this spring plus their clothes emphaze curves and which korean clothes don't so I'll just do that."

"I will love to see what you pick out." Jay says before our food is placed in front of us.