I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside, to try to kill the thing on the inside...
Moon drunk monster
Beautiful and strange
Howl your melancholy question...
I know she's lying, but I'm not going to pressure her to tell me as some mates would.
The only thing I know is it makes her sad and it might be what's making her wake up so early, because I know she woke up well before she said she did.
I'm hoping the confusion is because she's deciding to tell me or not what's wrong, I'll give her 2 days to tell me; if she doesn't I'll have to find out myself.
We're sat in the kitchen and it's only then I notice Luna's putting on some weight, not a lot she's still too skinny but enough to give her some curves. I'm not going to tell her this, she'd be mortified saying she's fat and I hate listening to her say that about herself.
I make us some toast, simple yet effective. Luna can't make it anyway, so it's basically exotic.
I try my best to get her to eat it, but to no avail, she still won't. I'm getting worried now, this is what she was like when she first got here; refusing to eat anything.
I beg her to eat, I get on the ground on both knees and plead her to. I try and make deals for her, but she just says "I don't feel like eating" and gets up and goes back up to our room.
I start to break down as I clear away the plates, what if she stops eating again? She nearly died last time, I can't handle her dying.
"You okay man?" Jake asks putting his hand on my shoulder, he looks at me with the look of a concerned brother.
"Luna..." is all I whimper out, he nods his head looking more like a friend then my gamma right now; which is exactly what I need.
"Did you have an argument?" He asks sitting down next to me on a chair. "No," I say firmly I know we haven't fought, she's just being secretive.
"Then what happened that's enough to make our strong Alpha cry, in the kitchen and make my pancakes a bit soggy?" He asks looking at his now slightly salty pancakes.
"Luna won't eat anything," I say looking at my feet so he doesn't see the torn up look on my face, he put his hand in my shoulder again. "And you're scared she'll stop eating for good again, and that you'll lose her?" Jake questions, already knowing his answer.
I nod my head but also give a sort of motion, I sigh. "She's keeping a secret from me, and it's a big secret I can tell. I could tell when I woke up she'd been up for hours, yet she said it was 5 minutes. I could feel her sadness and confusion radiating off her in waves, so she blocked our links and lied to me." I vented glad I finally have someone to talk to.
"Talk to her, nothing hurts more than when your mate lies to you. But you know what's a close second? When they think you've stopped caring because you don't ask." Jake says looking like a wise man and not a guy who forgets he has a belly button like he was minutes before.
"Okay, I'm going to talk to her now!" I say smiling triumphantly, Jake smiles awkwardly before saying. "Yeah actually you need to catch up with your paperwork, that's why I originally came in here you can tell her at the end of the day."
Fuck! Why is the world against me?
Luna's P.O.V
I head up to my room leaving Kai upset which breaks my heart, but I have to do it. I can feel his fear and sadness through the link, what he's scared of I don't know though.
I get in the shower and get dressed, I put my hair up in half up half down bun.
Then brush my teeth again and go find Sarah, all my links are blocked so I'm ready to find out what's wrong with me.
Sarah and I go on her laptop and search up the symptoms, so far I could already be dead and I'm actually a zombie in disguise. Thanks, Google.
5 hours later
We've found nothing, and we were searching for 5 freaking hours. We went to the library for a bit to see if anything was in there, I'm starting to question if I am really alive or not.
"Do you want to try it again?" Sarah asks handing me another pregnancy test, how many does she have?! I'm concerned about her now.
I nod and take the stick from her hands, I follow the instructions again the same as last time and wait for it to show if I'm pregnant or not.
Waiting
Waiting
Waiting
God damnit hurry up! I don't have all day, well I might actually since I may be dead. Can dead people be pregnant? Am I a ghost but no ones telling me? Would my baby be a ghost if I was pregnant?
Agh! It's doing it, it's telling me if I'm pregnant or not.
The symbol on this test determines the rest of my life, it's taking all my strength not to throw it in the bin and pretend it was ever there.
Oops! Această imagine nu respectă Ghidul de Conținut. Pentru a continua publicarea, te rugăm să înlături imaginea sau să încarci o altă imagine.
Agghhhh I'm fucking pregnant!
I rush out to Sarah and give her a hug, she immediately knows what that means and gives me a hug back.
"When are you going to tell Kai?" She asks me, I look at her my eyes popping out my head.
"I have to tell him? Can't I just go missing for a year, and say I found it wandering the streets." I plead with her.
"Luna!" She says firmly. "Fine! I'll tell him tonight I give in.
