"Care to explain what happened earlier, Madz?" I ask her agad as soon as she settles herself inside my car. I waited for her sa parking lot ng isang fast food chain just right outside Ateneo. Hindi na kami sumama sa afternoon practice since Maddie wanted to pack her things pa sa condo ng tita nya. Pwede na kasi syang lumipat sa dorms.
She sighs as she buckles her seatbelt. "Anong i-eexplain ko, Bei? Wala rin akong idea kung bakit ayaw sakin ni ate Mich if that's what you're asking."
"Michifu doesn't hate you, baby. She's nice. All of them are."
"How can you say that when kanina mo lang sila nakilala?" She shoots. "And you saw her di ba? She kept on looking at me like I annoy her or something."
"C'mon, Madz. I think Mich is alright naman. You were there anyway. They're nice people, nothing compared to your teammates back in highschool."
"Wag mo namang pagsalitaan ng masama yung mga kaibigan ko, Bea. Even if they're like that, they're still very dear to me."
"Seryoso ba yan, Madz? You're still taking their side kahit na they ostracized you when wala ka namang ginawa but be honest with yourself and with them?" I say, controlling the anger forming inside of me. "That screams pathetic desperation, don't you think Madz?" I shoot back.
"Well yeah, maybe I am pathetic and desperate to want to have them back after everything that has happened. Wala ka namang masasabi because I chose you di ba? Ikaw kasi yung napili." She snaps. "Tinalikuran ko sila para sayo, Bea. Iniwan nila ako kasi pinili kita."
"Finally lumabas din," I lowly chuckle, smiling sardonically at her. I feel like my heart drops nung pagka-sumbat nya. "I can always feel na you're partly blaming me for what happened and that's fine. You might think na what we have is wrong and sometimes, there are days when you doubt your previous decisions about choosing me pero ako, I will always stand by you no matter what kasi ikaw yung pinaka-magandang bagay na nangyari sa buhay ko." And kung dumating man ako sa punto na kailangan kong mamili, ikaw at ikaw lang din ang pipiliin ko.
"I didn't mean it like that, Bei.." She says softly, her voice shaking. "Hindi mo kasi ako naiintindihan. You didn't have to choose between people you love kasi almost everyone supports you. Don't you get it? I betrayed them first."
"If they're really your friends hindi ka na nila kailangan pang papiliin pa kasi susuportahan ka nila sa mga desisyon mo." I explain, trying my best to make her see my point. "If they're really your friends, they'll love and accept the real you."
I wanted to refresh her memory about what a true friend really is, yung bang kung kinakailangan naming bumalik sa preschool para lang ma-recall nya, then I'd grab that chance. Hindi ko alam kung bakit she still wants to be friends with them when they were nothing but complete jerks to her when they found out na we're dating already. It pisses me off kasi I know may fault din ako partly. Hindi naman kasi sila magkakasira kung hindi ako nakilala ni Maddie at pumasok sa eksena eh. But it already happened. We fell in love and Maddie chose me. I can't understand why her so-called friends would just leave her because of that. Hindi ba sila masaya na masaya yung kaibigan nila sa taong pinili nya na magmahal sakanya?
I start the car, my heart feeling so heavy for Maddie. I wanted to tell her na andito naman ako, I can be her girlfriend, her best friend or whatever she wants me to be. I want to fill those gaps that she yearns to be filled. Kaya nga ako nandito. I was serious when I vowed to make her happy when she finally agreed to be in a relationship with me. Minsan tuloy naiisip ko kung kailan ba ako magiging enough para kay Maddie.
We were silent the whole car ride. She's not even looking at me. When I parked at her tita's condominium building, I grab her hand as she unbuckles her seatbelt.
