Harry Styles imagines

Lost Angel part two

-8 months later-

"Easy there, bug." I say as I feel that little kick inside me, gliding my hand over my pregnant belly. "Give your mum a little break." While laughing, I caress the area where I feel the kick, drawing circles on my skin. "You're very active today aren't you, my little football player?"

I smile at the thought that in one month I will be able to hold my two babies in my arms. I am patiently waiting for the day where I can finally meet them. They are the only reason why I still continue living. After Marcel's passing I have felt like dying myself. I have barely eaten or drunk anything. I haven't even spoken to anyone for many weeks. I was just buried between my sheets, sobbing and crying the entire time. My parents have been very desperate, they couldn't see me suffering. They tried to comfort me as much as they could, however I didn't find any of their gestures comfortable. It killed me more, because it confirmed that Marcel was really gone.

However right after his death, I found out that I was pregnant. I had no idea how to feel at the beginning. A wave of emotions overwhelmed me. I was practically shocked. First, I cried tears of sorrow and desperation because I had absolutely no clue how I would raise my children without Marcel. I would have needed his help and his support.

But after a while my tears of sorrow turned into tears of joy and happiness. I thought I lost Marcel forever but I was granted with not only one, no, with two babies. His babies. They are a part of him and knowing that he left a piece of himself back makes me feel less lonely. I found my comfort.

When I have felt like falling off cliff, my babies have saved me. They came at the right time. I miss their daddy every day. There is not a day that I don't think about Marcel. I am still grieving but the unimaginable pain that I've felt at the beginning is more bearable now. I have to remind myself each day to stay strong for the sake of my children. I love them so much.

Time has passed by so quickly, I still can't realize that I'm living 8 months without my boyfriend. Eight months ago, I felt his arms around me for the last time. Eight months ago, I have kissed his soft lips for the last time. Eight months ago, he declared his love for me for the last time. I miss him so much, words cannot describe this feeling.

The fact that neither Marcel would meet his children nor our babies would meet their father breaks my heart. I know Marcel loved children whole-heartedly. He always wanted to have children and now his babies are on their way but he's not there anymore. Physically at least.

It may sound crazy but I still feel his presence around me. Sometimes, his scent would hit my nostrils. And when I sleep at night, it feels like he's lying next to me, engulfing me with his arms, stroking over my belly. I know he will always be there for us, protecting us and watching after us. I just wish that he was here. I wish there would be a way to rewind time.

I sigh, adjusting my position that I'm sitting in. Being pregnant is definitely not easy. Then, I hear someone unlocking the door to my apartment and as I turn around, I see Gemma with two cups of Ice cream in her hands. Gemma is Marcel's big sister and one of my best friends. She has decided to take care of me during my pregnancy and I'm grateful for her help. She lives with me.

She and her family had a rough time as well. Still have. Her mother Anne still can't process Marcel's loss properly. There are days where she feels okay but the next day she starts crying again. Poor woman.

But there is still a glimmer of hope for Anne. Her grandchildren. When I told her family and mine about my pregnancy, Anne had burst into tears, thanking god for giving her grandchildren over and over again. She has something to hold on to now.

"Sorry, I'm late!" Gemma calls, putting her jacket and shoes off, then joining me on the couch.

"It's okay." I respond taking the cup that she hands me over. I take a spoonful of the delicious Ice cream and shove it into my mouth. It tastes heavenly. We are having a conversation about different things and laugh a lot. She is very good at distracting people.

"Have you chosen any names for the babies yet?" Gemma inquires. I have been looking for names recently and I found two names that I really like.

"Yeah, I found two cute names. Darcy and Edward." Darcy and Edward, sounds good in my ears and they match perfectly.

"Holy shit!" Gemma calls suddenly. "Darcy and Edward? Are you kidding me?"

"What?" I am wondering why she reacts this way. Gemma takes a spoon of her Ice cream before she speaks.

"I don't know if Marcel has ever told you these but these names were his favorite and he wanted to call his children like this."

My eyes widen and my mouth hangs slightly open. What a coincidence that I've chosen two names that Marcel liked!

"Wow, I had no idea." I just whisper, feeling slightly overwhelmed.

"Yeah," Gemma responded, "That's surprising. I think Marcel just gave you kind of sign."

It can be possible. Never thought about it in that way. I run my hand along my belly and the kicking starts again.

"Baby, please stop!" I whine. "You're really hurting me."

After talking with Gemma for hours, I am very tired and all I want is to go to sleep. I'm very exhausted and the kicking of my unborn children has drained my whole energy. I wish Gemma a good night before I go to my bedroom, changing my clothes and slipping into my pajamas. I lie down in my bed, covering myself with the silky and soft sheets. My eyes are nearly falling shut from the exhaustion, but I still manage to glance at the photo of me and Marcel on my nightstand.

We look so happy and so in love in that picture. I always make sure to look at it before I fall asleep because it reminds me of the good old days and I also feel connected and close to Marcel. It became a kind of ritual.

"Good night, my love." I mumble, closing my eyes fully. "I love you." Before I drift to sleep, I hear a whisper very close to my ear. I'm not very sure if I'm imagining this or not.

It says "I love you too, sweetheart." And I feel his warmth engulfing my whole body.