Harry Styles imagines

For you

Winter 2022

An indescribable pain shot through my body, aiming directly at my heart. The intensity with which the pain was rammed into my vital organ nearly knocked all the air out of my lungs. I tried tuning down my hiccups in order to not wake up the sleeping man in front of me. The last thing I wanted was to explain why his girlfriend was bawling her eyes out in the middle of the night. I just wanted to get on with this, forget and move on with my life.

I knew it was a cowardly move to break up with Harry over a text message, but I couldn't bring myself to look at him, watching him crumble into pieces while my lips formed words that were for away from the truth. "I don't love you anymore."

One the one hand, I wished I had never woken up to use the bathroom and seen these pap photos of him and his group of rich, influential friends, of him and Kendall Jenner-his supposed ex- goofing around familiarly with each other at the beach. When Harry had told me he'd meet up with them for a get together, a little part of me had hoped that he would not interact with her in any sort of way. Naïve of me to think that, knowing how close they actually were. Pictures of him scooping her up and twirling her around circulated everywhere. I couldn't be angry at him. Not over this. She was his friend and always would be. There was nothing I could do against it.

One the other hand, all of this opened my eyes somehow and made me realize I couldn't live like this anymore. A young woman constantly overrun by a feeling she wished she could get rid of.

I had met Harry shortly after the release of his second album 'Fine Line'. Knowing a little bit about his past relationship, I was afraid that I could've been just a rebound to mend his broken heart, but Harry made it clear through his words and also his actions that he wanted more than something based on mere attraction.

Our first encounter was something compared to a scene from a cheesy rom-com. I was grocery shopping at a supermarket somewhere nearby the street I was living at. Having a lot in mind back then, I had completely spaced out, strolling absentmindedly through the aisles, and not really taking any notice of my surroundings until I ran into somebody extremely hard. The items I held in my arms, which mostly consisted of canned food, instantly fell down and was scattered on the floor. The loud noise emitting from the collision with the stranger attracted everybody's attention towards us, making me want to dissolve into thin air. I was never a fan of attention. The feeling only intensified when I met eyes with the person standing in front of me. Deep, sparkling green eyes, sharp jawline, plump pink lips, ring cladded fingers and the outline of an anchor tattoo under the sleeve of his black sweatshirt with 'Treat People with Kindness' labeled on the front were enough to attach the puzzle pieces together. My heart accelerated at the realization that I almost had knocked over one of the most influential and famous people in the music industry. Harry Styles. My celebrity crush for almost a decade. As if me running into him wasn't terrible and embarrassing enough, I only stood there, unable to speak and stared at him as if he was an alien. A handsome one on top. This was not the way I imagined meeting him. I had better scenarios in my head than this one. While I struggled between developing an escape plan or staying there and making an idiot out of myself even more, the sound of his angelic smooth voice rang through my ears.

"Are you okay?"

I instantly answered, "Y-yes. I apologize. I should've been more cautious."

"No worries. It's fine. I mean, I'm still alive." The corner of my lips emerged slightly. I appreciated his effort to make the situation less awkward for me. We smiled at each other before I crouched down to collect my stuff from the ground. Through the corner of my eye, I noticed that Harry also did the same thing.

"You don't need to do that." I immediately commented, despite feeling gratitude. "I'll be fine on my own. Don't let me stop you from doing your shopping."