The Way the Wind Blows (Third Entry)

Chaos

The gunshot roared through the halls. Spencer froze as if time stopped out of nowhere. I dropped the gun as Spencer fell limp on the cold bathroom floor. Odysseus dropped her head and faded away.

I stood there in disbelief. I had just shot my best friend. The one who gave everything away just so I could be happy. Now, it was far too late for me to pay him back. 

Memories of Operation Firefly filled my head. Questions rose through my mind. 

What just happened? How did this happen? Why is this happening? 

"What..." I mumbled. "What did I just do?" Tears began to roll down my cheeks. 

I collapsed to the ground beside Spencer's body. I gripped his shirt as if I was hoping he'd come back to life. 

"Spencer...why?" I said as I began to sob. "Why is this happening? What did I do to deserve this?" 

"Spencer? Noah?" Monika's voice called out from the hall. "Is everything alright? I heard a loud noise."

I froze for a second. If she finds out, she'd literally kill me. How was I supposed to tell her this on her wedding day? My mind began to run again, only to come up short. 

What's the point in hiding it? There was no way that I could just lie to her about something like this. Her husband is dead, and I was the one who killed him. I sat there for another minute in shock. 

"Noah?" Monika called out again. She sounded more concerned now. However, I didn't say anything. I couldn't force the words out. 

What was I supposed to tell her, just that her husband was dead and that I had to kill him? I wasn't capable of something like that. I wasn't sure how Monika would react. 

Or how any of them would react. They all had bonded with Spencer, even though they lost their memories of them. 

I sighed as I picked up the gun and held it to the side of my head. "What's the point of living if you know that they're not gonna believe you?"

I tried to pull the trigger, but my fingers wouldn't let me do it. I'm not sure how, but the gun fell out of my hand. I picked it up again. I put it in my other hand and tried to do the same thing. However, it still failed to work. 

"What the hell?" I said out loud. "Why won't you let me die? I can't deal with this much pain." 

"Noah!" Monika again called out from the hallway. "What's going on in there!?" 

I shook my head. Trauma from the ferris wheel and Operation Firefly filled my head, but the tears stopped flowing. For the first time in my life, I felt absolutely nothing. No sadness, no anger, no happiness. 

I felt nothing. 

I closed Spencer's eyes as I stood up. I stumbled against the sink, and something caught my eye. Blood was splattered all in it. I forced myself to turn away from it and I used the wall to keep myself from falling. I wiped the tears from my face and walked out of the bathroom with Monika and Sayori waiting by the door. 

"Noah! Where's Spencer? I need to ask him about plans for the honeymoon!" Monika said with excitement. 

As if I couldn't be hurt anymore, this felt like a spear piercing my heart. I shook my head and met her eyes. Her smile faded. 

"Monika..." I forced out.

She tilted her head in question. "Noah? You look pale. What's wrong?"

I just shook my head, not knowing what to say or how to say it. I met her eyes again. 

"I-I can't...just go look in the bathroom."