fear ↜ hjs

ꕥ seventeen

Days. All Joohyun ever did was counted days. She didn't stay with Jisung anymore as she told him she had a group project outside when in actual fact she went back to her parents'.

Yes, she was afraid of him but she couldn't bring herself that she wanted to leave him. The truth is, she hesitated to even leave him for real. She had no proof that Jisung was the killer behind her brother's death but the evidence she found were all pointing to him. Talking to him wouldn't be the best solution as Joohyun was afraid he might lose control like what Hyunjin told her.

"Don't you have classes today?"

Her mother's voice dragged her back to reality. Joohyun blinked her eyes a few times before gathering her things to leave.

"Why are you so troubled?"

Once again, her mother never failed to read her. Joohyun sighed. "I don't know what to do." She started but before she could explain, her mother seemed to know everything. "Of course you do, you're just afraid." She said as she took a seat next to Joohyun on her bed.

At the mention of fear, she had to admit that she developed a new one other than astraphobia. She was scared of Jisung, of the beast he was. "Fears are just games in your head, when you face it, you'll realise there's nothing to be afraid of." Her mother said softly. "The only way to face your fears is to get rid of them." She continued.

"That way, you won't be bothered of it anymore. However sometimes, it'll develop into a new kind of fear, guilt." She said and suddenly her expression saddened. Immediately, Joohyun could tell that she must be talking about her brother. She felt guilty for not being able to save him. "I dwell in guilt ever since I lost him, I don't want you to feel the same thing." She said which made Joohyun close to crying.

"Face your fear Joohyun, get rid of them if you have to. Only that way, you'll be able to continue living."

——ꕥ——

"Joohyun! Help me!"

Again, she heard the same plead over and over every time she enters her dreamland. Nonetheless, Joohyun followed the voice which lead to the same alley. She saw her brother crouching on the ground, crying his eyes out. Instantly, she approached him.

As sad as she was, she knew she wouldn't be able to bring him back anymore. However, she used this chance fully to remember every last bit she could about her brother. It was a painful reunion but she had to bear it.

"Jaewon, what are you doing here?" She asked, crouching in front of him as she placed a hand on his shoulder. "Why are you crying?" She questioned. "I miss home." He sobbed which broke her heart immediately. "I could've survived if you weren't deceived by him." He said. The thought of her little brother knowing that he was dead was much more painful for her to listen.

However, she couldn't help but to wonder why he kept on blaming her when she wasn't there at the time of his death. "My death was a warning for you to leave him, but it's too late now." He said as he lifted his face from his knees and looked at her. Seeing her brother's young face, Joohyun couldn't help but to tear up. He would've looked much more mature by now.

"What do you mean? Who's him?" Joohyun asked. "The beast that killed me had always lingered around you, the closest one to you but you never knew. He kept on lying to you." He said which made her heart beat faster as Joohyun thought of a certain person. "Who is he?" She braved herself to ask.

"Him. Get rid of him before he does the same to you." Jaewon said as he pointed at the dark road. Joohyun got on her two feet and walked to the pointed direction. Before she could even step into the darkness, the same glowing eyes flashed in front of her.

Instantly, she thought of Jisung. She knew those eyes so well, but she was having a hard time accepting that it was truly him who killed her brother. She noticed that he was stepping closer to reveal his face but her anger wouldn't let him. She didn't want to see his face, it pained her so much.

"Stop."

"I don't want to see you." Joohyun said, but her voice became a whisper instead as she was too afraid to say it. "Did you really love me?" She asked, tears were flowing down her cheeks fast. "You approached me just to keep me away from the truth, you— you murderer!" She yelled and at that moment she could feel him trying to reach out to her but instantly, Joohyun yanked his hands away.

She inhaled a deep breath between her sobs. "I hate you, nothing was ever real between us. You lied to me from the very beginning. I don't ever want to see you again." She glared at those pair of eyes. She refused to translate whatever look he was giving her as she was angry with him. She had never felt so much hatred before.

——ꕥ——

Joohyun woke up with dry tears on her cheeks. It was a dream, but she knew it wasn't just a mind's play. A large part of her heart believed it was truly her brother whom reached out to her. She wanted to believe that Jisung wasn't the one behind it, she wanted to believe he was the lovely guy she fell for but it was all too late.

She hated the fact he planned everything. She regretted everything as soon as she saw those luminous eyes. How she wished he wasn't born that way, maybe everything would've been fine.

Again, the tears rolled down one by one. Joohyun forced herself to stop crying as she tried to get her senses right. She had to do something in order for others to not suffer like her. She had to get rid of him.

——ꕥ——
🐾chan legit just joked on minho's stage name
on yesterday's vlive,, that snake shsjjs