E A T || BTS x Y.M

trois

Over 100 reads and 20+ votes! I'm honestly speechless, thank you so much.

...

Meeting others used to not always result in a panic attack for Yoongi

When Yoongi was thirteen, he had his first panic attack.

His grandparents had just come back from Hawaii and stayed over at their house before traveling to Busan. His grandparents were very strict and constantly brought down his self-esteem, right in-front of his parents. When they came to his house, everything had been normal until dinner rolled by.

"Are you sure that you should be eating that much, Yoongi?"

"Honestly, you've become really chunky. I almost couldn't recognize you."

"You'd never get a girlfriend looking like that."

After dinner Yoongi threw up his meal into the toilet and cried. He's used to hearing this from his grandparents, but what really hurt was his parents didn't intervene when his grandparents said all these rude comments.

Yoongi, at the age of 13, curled up into a fetal position on his bed and had a panic attack while thinking, 'I really want to die.'

Ever since that day, he couldn't look at his parents the same way.

...

Taehyung drags Yoongi over to the table where his friends were waiting for him, with smiles all on their faces. They heard from Taehyung and Jimin about how Taehyung's roommate was really cute and they weren't lying. This boy, was an absolute cutie. Seokjin wanted to hug the boy to death.

Taehyung sits Yoongi onto the extra seat his friends dragged over, right in between him and Hoseok.

"Hello, Taehyung's roommate, you're so cute!" Hoseok practically yelled at Yoongi while doing some cute aegyo. Yoongi, while still slightly afraid, smiled and relaxed a bit.

For the rest of their lunch break, they all introduced themselves to Yoongi and were asking questions about him, such as his birthday and hobbies. Honestly, this is the first time Yoongi ever felt comfortable while meeting new people. Usually panic attacks were a promise for when Yoongi met new people, but these boys, or BTS - the name they call their group - were so comfortable to be around.

No glares, just loving stares.

No hateful comments, just complements.

Yoongi was already enjoying being around them and it seemed as though they were too. But Yoongi was scared. He hasn't had true friends in years, and why would anyone want to be his friend? He's just a disgusting, fat, pig who should die.

Yoongi wanted to cry.

BTS noticed their new friend - at least that's what they thought - suddenly quiet down before looking down at this feet. Yoongi didn't eat anything else for the rest of the break. BTS decided, this needed to change. Yoongi wasn't going to skip a meal, but they don't know that Yoongi doesn't eat and when he does - like his spoonful of fat-free yogurt he eat in front of his new friends to seem normal - was throw up quickly, before it could be digested.

Yoongi tried smiling but everyone at the table could see how fake it was.

...

Yoongi grabbed his 5 strawberries, exactly 4 calories each, before chewing them and then spitting them back up. He often did this when he was hungry but still couldn't bare the thought of eating. (I'm serious, do not try this. Chewing your food then spitting it out before you swallow, ruins your stomach. It's not healthy at all. Please do not try this.)

He grabbed his calorie diary before writing down, ' 4 calories per each strawberry (5).' Then he made a note to himself, on the same date page, 'August, 25, 2018' , which read, Don't eat at all for the rest of the day and don't eat anything tomorrow you fat ass.'

Yoongi gasps when his calorie diary is ripped out of his hands by none other than Kim Taehyung. Taehyung reads what Yoongi wrote while having a scowl on his face. He goes over to the trash can and throws the book in there, all while Yoongi is too shocked to speak.

Taehyung growls before walking over to Yoongi, practically trapping him in his big frame. "You won't be doing that anymore, I'll make sure of it." Taehyung whispers in Yoongi's ear before growling again.

How could he not have noticed what Yoongi was doing? Taehyung only thought that journal was a small diary that Yoongi writes in, but when Taehyung came back to the dorm room, he saw Yoongi hunched over his diary with tears swelling in his eyes and before he could stop himself, he grabbed Yoongi's 'diary' before reading what was on the page. Anger was all Taehyung felt.

Although he only met Yoongi a couple of days ago, Taehyung couldn't help but feel protective of him. He would do anything for Yoongi, and he's sure that his friends share the same feelings.

Yoongi looked up at Taehyung with tears rolling down his face. No one had ever cared about Yoongi before and he couldn't help but keen at Taehyung's words.

Everything was changing and Yoongi didn't know how to feel about it.

...

Although Yoongi's calorie book was gone, he couldn't stop himself from writing it down on his arms. Now his arms were filled with calorie numbers of everything he ate.

Jungkook and Namjoon found out one day at lunch before excusing the three of them because they had to 'go to the bathroom'. But, all they did was wash his arms while whispering praises. Yoongi finally felt loved and cared for.

...

Spending time with his new friends has became Yoongi's favorite time of the day. Somehow they all know how fragile Yoongi is and they're all careful around him and honestly Yoongi loves it. He's loves the cuddling, the affection, the praise, just everything. Yoongi's content for the first time in his life...

...

"Umm, just two pounds please." The man whispers to his dealer.

He's desperate for anything. Ever since Yoongi came into his life he's been drug free, but the addiction always fights off his feelings. He knows it's wrong, but the high of the drug makes him see stars. He loves this feeling.