Home is You ('Home Is' Book One - Daryl Dixon)

Chapter 15 - Taking Care of Business (Bachman Turner Overdrive)

I'm seriously struggling now to keep it all together.

"....just tell Leo I love him very much and I'm so sorry I screwed it all up."  I make to walk past him to the tent.

"No, I fucking well won't tell him!"  Growled Guillermo.

I stop dead, shocked and shaken.

"Leo also told us last night that you're the smartest person he's ever met. He's wrong."

He still doesn't believe me, but I'm done.

"Goodbye Guillermo. Please....stay safe too."

"If you're as smart as Leo says you are? Then how can you think for one fucking second....that what happened yesterday was your fault? That you have anything  to apologise for?"

"THAT STUPID PRICK ASSAULTED YOU THE MOMENT YOU WALKED IN! AFTER I PROMISED TO KEEP YOU SAFE!"  Guillermo yelled furiously and I step backwards again....in a bit of fear.

"Dios Mio....You did the only thing you could and taught that piece of crap a lesson"  He's pacing now, running shaky hands over his head and face.

"The vato's don't despise you....they respect you!  And they're ashamed. Because one of our own did that. Ashamed that you had no choice but to protect yourself. Just as I'm ashamed that I failed you! "  He grabbed my arms to stop me from backing away further.

"And I didn't stay with you last night to keep you from them. Besides, you can probably kick their collective asses all on your own....won't need my help"  Guillermo's smile becomes pained.

"I thought you didn't trust me anymore. Was afraid you'd try to sneak out and come back here. I had to keep you from that harm at least. But you didn't leave and it gave me hope. That maybe you do trust...."

He tugged me back to the parapet and pushed on my shoulders until I sat. Then flopped next to me, head in his hands.

"Oh, Chiquita. We're such fucking idiots. We both got the wrong ideas in our heads. You thought you'd blown it and we didn't want you. And me....what did I fucking do? Got angry because I thought you'd just used us as an opportunity to be rid of Leo."

"Can you ever forgive me for being such a prick? No of course you can't. I hurt you....was so cruel. How in hell can I ever fix this? "

His words finally sink in and I break the silence.

"Did you mean what you said? They....you....don't hate me? That you....I mean....all of you....really want me? To come back and stay that is?"  My stutter is tentative.

"No, no....no Dios Mio no!  I don't hate you. And I don't want  you to stay, Nate. I need  you to stay, we all do. Big difference you know"  He added.

"Yup, I know all  about that one"  I remember Mum's lesson from the Boob-Gate incident.

"So, you'll come back with me....us? I was given orders by everyone. To not return without you. And Abuela, well....no one dares defy her. Please, Nate."

Guillermo asked in a nervous rush, seemingly holding his breath.

All I can do is nod....so he can start breathing again. So I can start breathing again?

"Ok, alright then. Good....great. And will you please forgive me for being....what is it you Australians say? A toss?"  He stammered with a smile.

"Wanker"  I splutter out with a laugh.

"Yes, Guillermo. I forgive you for being a wanker."

He rose when his vato's returned to get more bags. Holding his hand out to help me up.

"We better pitch in and help carry some of this lot down. Otherwise, poor Eduardo may have a heart attack."

Guillermo gently squeezed my fingers. And I think I bruise his in return.

Dictionary

Vamos (Spanish) - Let's go

Toss / Tosser - See Wanker below

Wanker - To wank is slang for male masturbation. A wanker (or tosser as the Brits call them) is a guy who doesn't give a damn about anything except themselves. Or is someone who's simply being a total dick for the sake of....being a dick

Zorra (Spanish) - Bitch

Dios Mio (Spanish) - My God