Indecisive (COMPLETED)

Prologue - Summary

Dear Internet Diary,

      I was in my own little world, living life through the phases, all the way up until one man changed my life. My refusal to play his sick & twisted games was precisely what landed me on a one-way ticket to my ruin. He ruined me in ways that still haunt me and I can't help but remember those blue eyes. Those pale blue eyes, which were always hidden behind a black mask. I ended up giving him the name Mr. Blue. That was the only detail I could give the cops about the guy who abducted me, little over a year ago. That, and the fact he was tall, but that wasn't very helpful to the police.

      After my escape, I went to the same high school. My school sent me their condolences, through a letter, by email, but only after I graduated! The first few days after I came back, were pure and utter torture. Everyone treated me like a helpless animal. I hated every moment of it. They all watched their words in front of me, and yet, behind my back, they never seemed to be able to stop mentioning my abduction. I walked the halls of my school like a ghost. I heard every word that was said about me by my classmates and teachers, but I ignored them all. Their expressions, when they saw I caught them red-handed were filled with worry and false regret. It's not like I cared after all; I'd grown cold and distant. 

      The "friends" I had turned their backs on me, the moment they knew I was taken, but I guess its alright since we weren't really friends, to begin with. Not a single one of them tried to look for me. Not even my boyfriend at the time, Preston. Oh, Preston! He moved on rather quickly. I'll never forget the day I came back and caught Preston making out with a girl from the cheer squad in the hallway. At the time, it pained me to see Preston kissing another girl. I mean, I'd only been gone for little over a month, and we'd been dating for over 5 months, but apparently, that wasn't enough to stop him from getting a piece of ass. I guess someone must have seen me catch them in the act because right after first class Preston came running to me and begged for my forgiveness. The sad thing is, he went so far as to put the blame on me. My absence was the reason he'd started looking elsewhere for some entertainment to deal with my loss. So after I broke up with Preston, he became known as the school's hottest playboy. And the best one to fuck. 

      After I finished my last year in high school, I didn't bother to say goodbye to my "friends" or Preston, for that matter. It's not like they even liked me, to begin with. They only wanted my brain, but who could blame them. I was a smart cookie. Not a straight A student, but I was smart enough for them. 

      During the last month of school, I found out that my dear school decided to inform all the colleges I applied to my unfortunate past. Such a great, undermining name for what happened to me, right? My unfortunate past. It's almost as if they thought sugarcoating what really happened to me, would make the experience any less painful than it actually was. I still have faint cut marks from what he did to me. And for those of you wondering why I said he, it's because he's still out there. Free from any form of punishment for his crimes. 

     The police allowed me to make a few changes to myself before going off to college, like letting me change my name & hair, but other than that, I was still the same. I went to a therapist for over 7 months after I came back. The only thing we ever talked about was everything, but my abduction. She even helped me pick out my new name. And for that, I was grateful. It was almost as if I'd made a friend. Almost. Eventually, she cleared me, and I was able to go to college. Once I got my new name, I tried to start anew. 

      Although I now lived far away from my hometown, I couldn't help this nudging feeling that kept coming over me. I don't know why, but for some reason, I could tell that Mr. Blue was coming back for me. But I'm just being paranoid. Right?

Sincerely,

      Melody N. Ravenna

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