feels

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do you know what's crazy? this chapter


holly-may

After Charlie and I finished dinner, he offered to take me home as I took an uber to dinner because my parents were using their extra car that I normally use. Charlie has been really sweet and fun tonight, I really don't feel like I deserve a person like this.

He started acting weird though after the thing with Justin. He felt a little bit awkward and shy around me. I wonder why

whatever

When we arrive to my house, it looked like no one was here still, so I'll be home alone so he offered to walk with me to the front door.

Hm...cute

"Thanks so much for tonight Charlie, really." I thank him, beginning to say our goodbyes

"you're welcome, I really missed you anyways."

"same" i blush then slightly open my arms for a hug but he cuts me off.

"can I say something before it's too late?"

"okay.." i reply ready for what he was about to say

"the reason why i asked you to come is that...fuck okay holly-may, you're a beautiful girl and i can't help but think about you all day, sorry i was so awkward after that situation i just didn't know how to feel. If you weren't going through a break up right now, I would've asked you on a date- a proper one. You make me nervous," he says getting very close to me "but i'm going to end this by telling you i really fucking like the idea of you and I."

wait

huh?

i can't help but give him a little smile so he won't over think it too much. fuck this can't be happening. he gives me a smile back staring into my eyes

he is so beautiful

but wait, what do i say to him?

"charlie oh my god." i reply

"i'm just starting to really like you that's all." he explains. He nervously laughs, "was that too soo-"

I cut him off by grabbing the collar of his jacket and bringing my lips into his.



His mouth is foreign to me, it's not like Justin's at all. His tongue doesn't move the same. Charlie is more gentle

stop! fuck holly-may you need this.

"i really fucking like the idea of you and i"

"thanks...for nothing on my birthday i guess..."

fuck, holly-may you do need this but you don't want it

My over thinking and thought of Justin's text makes me pull away.

I take a step back from Charlie and cover my lips with my hand.

"Holly-May-"

"I'm sorry..I'm an absolute idiot." i say softly slapping my forehead, then shake my head

"no, don't be sorry..fuck i don't know, what do you feel about this?" Charlie asks

i feel like crying

"i'm sorry...i'm just emotional Charlie, I have been going through a lot and what you said to me just now," i pause and sigh running my hand through my hair "i don't know... I shouldn't of done that."

"don't be sorry, i just want to know how you feel Holly-May."

how i feel?

"i don't think i can answer that, not yet at lea-"

"thought so." his voice slightly hurt

"i don't know charlie."

"it's fine, i get it. You still love him."

"it's only been a few months, I can't let go so fast like that."

" i just don't want to be your rebound."

"you're not. I really like you Charlie but give me time to refresh my emotions."

he sighs, "okay...good night i guess."

"night Charlie." i say opening the door then shut it after i enter my house

i stay there leaning against the door, waiting to hear Charlie's car leave.

after i heard it leave, I throw my bag on the floor, and I look ahead of me, leaning against the wall by the door. I slide my back on the wall, then sit on the floor thinking..

fuck, i can't do this anymore

i burst out crying

I want Justin, but I also want to get over him....and neither are happening

i hate this chapter omg lollllll

vote and comment for more!

...or some mcdonald's will help too lol idk

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