thoughts & stuff

anxiety & depression.

as anxiety holds me in his arms, and depression sings me a lullaby, i lay my head down to rest.

too worried to sleep too sad to stay awake.

a night full of tossing and turning.
a night full of questions.
a night full of putting myself down.

a night full of "what ifs"
a night full of "you're not good enough."

a night, another night where i lay my head feeling worthless.
a night, another night, where i don't want to live but i'm too scared to die.

as anxiety wakes me up from yet another nightmare and depression sits at my bed "comforting" me, i wake up.

too scared to go back to sleep but too sad to stay awake.

a morning full of not wanting to get up.
a morning full of not wanting to talk to anyone.
a morning full of questions.

a morning full of "what's the point of getting up"
a morning full of "i'm not okay"

a morning, another morning where i'm glued to my bed.
a morning, another morning where my thoughts take over.

depression & anxiety have been my only comforters since i was young, they've been the only ones there for me and they're all i know, but they're constantly at war. Anxiety worries too much about everything, even thing out of my control, but let's me know i have shit to do. Depression glues me to my bed making every task a little more difficult than before. Having both is absolute hell.