thoughts & stuff

🥀 time

times continuing as life passes me by. i can't do anything about it and i hate it. my friends are going on and it's like i'm stuck with the mind from my past. i can't seem to let go my mistake, or actions. i hate that i can't be happy, i'm trying so hard almost too hard one might think, so i try taking it slow and steady but then i get caught up in my shitty sad thoughts. and i just want to be okay. this all sucks so much and i did nothing but stare at my ceiling in complete dark and think for three hours fucking straight. no music. no surround sound. no noise. just complete silence. i didn't even have enough energy to pick up my phone, and although i did all that thinking i still couldn't think of my reason to be sad. i'm sad without being aware of the source. and i think. just maybe i've figured it out, but now i don't know how to fucking fix it. life's complicated and i wanna go away