thoughts & stuff

anxiety

okay so like it's really late my time and i have SO much anxiety about school and just life in general. and this happens every weekend before school. it's like, schools literally stressing me so much and giving me so much anxiety that i'm having anxiety about the stress i'm having because of the stress i will be having iF THAT MAKES AN Y sense. And i feel this chapter i guess is a lot just me rambling then me being "deep" or some shit like AH. i just don't know i want time to speed up so i have my life together but then again i know my life won't get together if i don't shape up and get my shIT TOGETHER. i just have so much to do and i wish life was simpler but the day life becomes simple hell will have froze over. BUT WAIT THERES MORE. i also often have been thinking about death and the end of the world and not in like the "kill me i don't want to live" way but like what if one day you woke up to the world falling apart. PHYSICALLY. or like one day you woke up and every light in the world was just off? if that makes sense? okay but also like think if you just didn't wake up? would the world just be dark and black? (existential crisis ahead read with caution)

and okay now a very sensitive topic for my anxiety: the end of the world.

imagine it though, honestly. one day everything as we know it will crumble to pieces. and everyone we know and love won't be with us. what is it like after death? like, when we die and the world ends, will it just be black and dark? will it just be nothing???? and every time i think about this i get this eXTREMELY empty feeling in my chest and juST OHMYMFHS i just wish i didn't overthink eVERYTHING and i tYPE LIKE THIS A LOT. but yeah that's all i just wanted to ramble and i don't have anyone to ramble about this to so