Carnival Heart

Chapter Twenty Nine- " happy new years "

I stood in front of my mirror and put on my jacket when my bedroom door opened and Brendon walked in.
" oh hey " I smiled and looked back to the mirror.
I took one last look at myself and turned to look at Brendon who was looking at me with a certain glow in his eyes.
" what? " I asked.
" you just look beautiful " he smiled.
" stop " I giggled and looked down.
I felt his hands touch my shoulders, " it's true " he said.
I looked up to see him smiling, " you're making me blush and I don't like it " I said.
" well I like it " he smiled pulling me into a hug.
" ah, we should get going " he said.
" don't rewan the hug " I pouted.
" don't worry there will be more hugs to come " he smiled.
" come on " he grabbed my hand, we walked out of the house and I locked up.
Cole was already at Grace's house and yes she said it was only our grade, but she just had to invite my brother. I was glad he was already there though since I could get ready in the house by myself.
We drove to Grace's house.
" i've never been to Grace's place before " I said.
" I have once or twice, it's very big " Brendon said.
" I bet " I said.
We pulled up to a house that was blasting music, people were walking in and out of the house. People were standing outside and inside.
" this is how you know i'm an outsider, i've never been to a party with big " I said.
" don't worry little outsider you will live " Brendon smiled, I punched him lightly in the arm before we got out of the car and walked up to the house.
The door was open so we just walked right in.
" yay! You guys made it " all of a sudden I was getting hugged by Grace.
" happy new year " she smiled.
" it's not new year yet Grace " Brendon said.
" I know that silly " she laughed and walked away.
" well she's drunk " Brendon said.
" I couldn't tell " I said sarcastically.
We walked over to join everyone on the couch.
I sat down beside Chance with Brendon beside me.
" great you both are here, now I won't be the only sober one " Chance said.
" i'm probably only going to have one drink " Brendon said.
" same " I nodded.
Music blasted through the house it was so hard to hear what everyone saying let alone talking about. Almost everyone was drunk so it was hard to understand what they were staying in the first place.
Brendon got up to go get a drink.
" who here is excited for it to be next year? " Justin asked.
" me because I get to spend it with you " Sofia smiled right before her and Justin started to make out.
Chance looked at me.
" my eyes need to be washed " he said.
" that was too cute for me to handle " he added as I laughed.
" what " I said as I was laughing and then soon we both were laughing.
Brendon walked back over and sat down.
" why are we laughing? " he asked.
" something really funny that just happened, it's hard to explain " I said.
" then I won't ask any further " Brendon said.
" well, I am going to get a drink " I said getting up and walking over to the table with drinks.
I was pouring a drink when Justin stumbled over to me.
" hey Beth " he laughed.
" hey Justin " I said.
" do you want to know why I kissed you? " he asked.
" not particularly when you drunk " I said.
" well the reason why- ".
" ok tell me anyway " I turned to face him.
" I just wanted to have my first kiss and " he started to laugh.
" and I knew you wouldn't question it when I kissed you so I kissed you and " he kept laughing.
" and I knew the whole time I was just going to stop talking to you, I was just using you to get my first kiss " he laughed.
" wait what?! " I said.
" you heard me I was using you " he laughed.
" and this Justin, this is the reason why were not friend! " I yelled and walked out to the back yard, I didn't even bother grabbing my jacket, I just walked out into the cold snowy air and sat down on a bench.
I looked out at the lake when I heard footsteps.
" hey are you ok " Brendon asked sitting beside me.
" i'm fine just needed some fresh air " I lied.
" well I brought you your jacket " he said placing it on my back.
" thanks " I smiled still looking the other way.
" Beth, I saw you and Justin talking, you looked pretty angry, so are you sure your ok? " he asked.
" it was nothing " I said.
" are you sure? " he asked.
" he just brought up something stupid from our past, it was nothing trust me " I said.
" it didn't seem like nothing, Bethany you do know you can tell me, i'm here " he said.
I took a deep breath and looked over at Brendon.
" in grade 8 he.... kissed me and he then stopped talking to me for two years and he's been trying to be my friend again and he finally just told me why he kissed me and... he was drunk it was nothing " I said looking away.
Brendon grabbed my hands, " Bethany, I can tell your hurting so please just tell me maybe I can help " he said.
" he was using me to get his first kiss " I said.
" what?! ".
A tear rolled down my cheek, " he stole my first kiss just to use me " I said.
" I want to punch him right now! " Brendon said.
" Brendon- ".
" no Bethany, I don't care that he's my friend he hurt you " he said.
" Brendon- ".
" what? " he asked.
" I...I love you " I said, he looked surprised.
" and I know it may not be the right moment to say that and that you may not feel it right now too, but I feel it and I just needed to tell you and it's fine if you don't feel it, I just need- " he shut me up and kissed me.
" I love you too " he smiled.
" really because if your just say that- ".
" really " he cut me off, I took a deep breath.
" ok " I smiled.
" but that doesn't stop me from wanting to punch Justin " he smiled.
" and I get that, but please don't " I smiled and leaned over onto his shoulder, he wrapped his arm around me.
I still wondered how someone like him, popular, brave, sweet, could love me.
" Brendon? " I asked.
" yeah? " he asked.
" why do you love me? Were so different " I said.
" I love you because your different your not one of those girls that try to get boys attention by being someone their not, your, yourself " he said.
" why do you love me? " he asked.
I sat up, " I love you because I know your always going to be there for me, no matter what my crazy life brings " I smiled.
He kissed me.
" well i'm glad to be here then " he smiled.
" should we get back inside, I feel cooled down now " I said.
" do you really want me to go in there and see Justin and have to fight the urge to punch him? " Brendon asked.
" yes I do, because I know you can do it, let's at least stay here till it's 12 " I smiled.
" got it " he got up and put out his hand.
" to inside where I fight an urge to punch a person " Brendon smiled.
" to inside " I grabbed his hand, he wrapped his arm around me, we walked back inside and sat on the couch.
I looked over at Justin and took a deep breath, I looked over at the tv to see the ball was already dropping.
" wow time flies " I said.
" it sure does " Brendon smiled.
" five... four... three... two... one " I whispered.
" happy new year! " everyone yelled.
" hey " Brendon said.
" what? " I asked.
He just was smiling at me.
" what? " I smiled.
" happy new year " he smiled and gave me a kiss.
" happy new year " I smiled.

Brendon gave Cole and I a ride home, Cole stumbled into the house since we was drunk.
" good luck with him " Brendon said.
" thanks " I smiled.
" you don't have to go, you know " I said.
He raised his eyebrow, " what I mean is, you can stay the night here, I doubt you would want to drive home right now " I said.
" my parents would kill me if I didn't come home " he said.
" yeah I know, but you could text them and say Bethany needs help watching her brother since he's drunk " I smiled.
" you really don't want me to go do you? " he asked.
" not particularly " I said looking down.
" ok i'll stay " he said.
" really " I smiled.
" yeah " he nodded.
" ok " I smiled.
I walked into my room to change into my pajamas, and Cole gave Brendon a pair of pajamas to borrow without asking question since he was so drunk.
I sat down on my bed and turned on the tv when Brendon walked in and sat down beside me on the other side.
" just so you know, I fall asleep with the tv on and it's usually a kid show " I smiled.
" ok, sounds good " he smiled.
I laid down and pulled out my phone. My eye slowly started to close.
" tired? " Brendon asked.
" yeah " I said setting my phone on the night table.
Brendon pulled me into a hug.
" you doing ok, with everything that happened tonight? " he asked.
" yeah, the good thing that happened over shadows the bad " I smiled.
" what good thing happened? " he asked.
" we said we loved each other " I said.
" that happened, I don't remember that happening " he said.
I hit him with a pillow.
" ow " he said.
" you bother me sometimes " I said.
" and is that bad thing? " he asked.
" no " I smiled.
He kissed my forehead.
I looked back at the tv and closed my eyes, I wasn't fully asleep yet, but almost there.
Brendon kissed my forehead again, " I love you " he said.
A small smiled came to my face, I love you too.