Chapter Twenty Seven

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Savannah was on my bed, with the bottle cracked and her head on the pillow. 

"Savvy," I muttered, "what happened?" I inched my door shut and then watched her expression change. It looked as if she had swallowed something awful. I sat at the edge of my bed and watched her again. She looked me over and then she frowned in a curt little line. 

"I don't know," she sighed and took another swill. I reached over and took a sip of the bottle and winced. The taste was tough and scraping. "It's more like- what didn't happen."

"Okay, what didn't happen?" 

"He didn't say he liked me back."

"Awe, Savannah." I stroked her arm and she frowned deeper and then breathed in a jagged breath. 

"It gets worse." She held her hand up and I sucked in a breath too. 

"He said he loves me." I gasped and looked her over. 

"That's good!" I nearly yelled, "Why drink it away?" I slipped the bottle from her hands and gulped a few sips down. Warmth spread and I smiled slowly. 

"He's dating someone." She said and took the bottle back. 

"So? He's dating the girl I love." I took it back and sipped. 

"So, I feel like a cheater."

"No, you're the cheated." I said, "I'm a cheater." I took the sips again. She giggled slightly and then sighed again in a sadness that I knew too well. 

"No, at the end of the day I think we're both the cheated." 

"How?" I asked, wanting to hear that I wasn't terrible.

"We're both falling for someone who's with someone. Both our someone's are together, and here we are." My stomach twinged at the bit of suggestion in her voice, and I wondered for a second if I could every truly love Savannah for something more. She sipped the bottle and then I took it back, chugging it all in seconds. "Bitch." She muttered. 

"I'll sneak downstairs and see if there's any left over from the party."

"Alright." She set the empty one down and took out the diet Pepsi. She took easy sips and I hurried down the stairs. I felt the dizzy intoxication set in and my eyelashes fluttered. 

"Viva, is that you?"

"Yes mom." I tried to sound collected but the panic was evident. The only thing that could make this worse was if Savannah was upstairs with a pocket of high. I groaned and rubbed my hands over my face. 

 "Two more days, and the rehearsal dinner is tomorrow." 

"I can't believe it either." I said, honestly surprised and hating that I'd be hung over. Speaking of hung over, if I was going to be- I'd need to be more on task. I wormed my way around mom and felt her spin on her heels to look me over as I got closer to the coolers. 

"Vivian," she nearly cried, "I told you already."

"Yeah, and I'm almost eighteen. Don't like it? Throw me out." My mother winced like I'd hit her and I grabbed two more and headed for the stairs. I recalled the falls and lift ups of the past few weeks and frowned. "I'm sorry," I said, "I'm just stressed out and scared."

"Scared for what honey?" She whispered. 

"Scared because I'm gay, and because I think I'm in love with Cecilia." My mother looked shocked. 

"I thought she was a one time thing."

"Me too, but I can't get her off of my mind. She's just- I don't know mom. She just is." My mom smiled sadly and slipped her hand out to touch my cheek. 

"It's hard love baby." She said, "But if it's meant to be, it will be." 

"Thanks mom." I continued with the alcohol to my room and when I got there Savannah was asleep. "Pussy." I muttered and shook her pack of cigarettes from her pocket and headed to the window. I fumbled with the lighter but got one. I inhaled and puffed out the window biting hard on a cough. I watched Viper's bike start and he headed down the road. I expected it, but it still startled me. I rushed to the door and answered it with a cigarette hanging off my lip. 

"I didn't know you smoked." She said, "Share one with me?"

"Sure," I let her in and shut my door. "Sh," I motioned towards Savvy and she nodded. 

"She loves him, huh?" She took a long drag from my smoke and I watched as it curled from her lips delicately. 

"Who loves him, and who's him?" I cracked a beer and sipped it. She reached for one and I handed Savannah's over ruefully. 

"Viper is him, and Savannah loves him." 

"Yeah, well." I tipped it back a bit more and took my smoke back taking a long drag. 

"Well?" She waited, and I exhaled. 

"They've always been- something. Even if it wasn't public." 

"I understand." She took a sip finally and I watched her small throat carve down the bitter taste. Her mouth didn't turn into the scowl I expected it to and I grinned. 

"So," I said as I took another drag, "is it splitsville for you and Viper?"

"No," she said, "it's just complicated."

"Well, it's almost the wedding date." Then it hit me. Through all of the drunken thoughts I've had, this was by far, the most intelligent. I'd announce it at the wedding, and have Savannah on standby outside to pick up Viper through his jealous rage. 

"I know, listen."

"What?" I asked. 

"I did something, and you'll hate me in about three seconds."

"Spill." I said coldly.

"I told Viper about our kiss."

"You what?!" I demanded. I felt my gut twist and I needed to puke but refused to tear from the situation first. Her eyes were cold, and searching. I stood up and Savannah stirred in her sleep. I watched Cecilia's mouth change in attempt to form words. But huffed from the cigarette instead.

"He promise not to make a scene!" She yelled, "I'm sure he won't do anything stupid." 

"You're the one who did something stupid." I motioned towards the door. "I'm not doing this again. Where'd Viper go?"

"Out, he didn't say." She flicked the cigarette out the window and walked towards the door. I didn't say anything, just waited for her to leave. I silently cursed her and walked to Savannah again. I searched her bag for the rest of the pack and lit one after another. It was the only light in the pitch black of the night. I don't know if it was the feeling of betrayal or if it was the feeling of dred. It was most likely me waiting for Viper's bike. He didn't pull in, and I suspected his location was the crack house. I refused to go, simply becuase of 'Ringo'. I cried into the night through the window. 

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