Chapter Fourteen

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My eyes were heavy but I forced them open, the tall white walls were all I could see and I thought for sure I had to be dead. I tried to recall the details but ended up throwing up instead. I squinted against the light and tried to keep myself from puking again but my stomach churned. The door creaked open and my eyes darted to the figure in it. They were tall and dark, with another figure who was shorter and I recognized the body contour as Cecilia's. 

"No," she said and the voice confirmed that it was Cecilia, "I'm not interested in pressing charges. I know the state she's in too well. I've been there." 

"Very well," he handed her a paper, "if in the next thirty days you change your mind contact me and fill this form out." 

"Thank you." She said in a professional tone, and he walked out of the door frame. I shut my eyes again as she approached the bed, because I didn't think I was ready to speak to anybody. She pulled the chair up beside my bed and she sighed deeply. "I'm sorry Vivian, I didn't mean to do this to you." She took my hand and I heard the door open again. She didn't drop it, and I was shocked. 

"I thought I'd find you here," Viper spoke, "let's go home." 

"Go on out to the car," she said to him, "I'll be right out." 

"Alright, don't be too long." I heard his feet click across the floor, and I fought the urge to smile at the gentleness he'd taken in her. The door shut and Cecilia turned back to me. Her hand tightened a bit and she sighed. 

"I'm hard to get to know," she began, "I know that. It's because I was hurt when I was little. It's easier to hurt everybody else. But I don't want to do that to you, or Viper. I'm going to tell him about us after your mom's bridal shower party tomorrow. I hope you're well then, I hope you're home. I've got to go meet Viper and finish my summer school homework." She squeezed my hand and rose from the bed. She walked out of the door and I let my eyes open. I let her words sink into my skin like expensive lotion and waited for today to seem real. My mouth was dry and my eye lids were to thick. 

"Viv?" My mother pushed the door open and walked in. I locked eyes with her and for a minute I was glad to see her, until I remembered the fight. I didn't answer, just stared at her refusing to break the trance first. "Please?" She asked in a lighter tone. 

"What?" I asked and my voice broke. Nothing made me feel more powerful, I thought sarcastically. I shut my eyes and waited for her to continue. 

"I'm sorry," she surprised me, "I didn't mean to hurt you, I panicked. None of my kids have ever surprised me like that." 

"You mean Viper's never surprised you like that?" I asked. 

"Right," she said hesitantly, "Viper." 

"Well, I'm gay." I said and it felt good. 

"Please, don't say that. Not yet." I rolled my eyes and looked down at the IV in my arm. I pulled the cords until they came out and rolled off of the bed. My head was throbbing and I was dizzy beyond belief but I tugged my jeans on anyway. My mother looked shocked. 

"Let's go," I said, "I want to go home." 

"I'll go check you out at the desk." She ran to the front counter and proceeded to check me out of the hospital. I just stood in my room. The nurse burst in and looked me over. 

"You're well then," she scribbled her signature on a paper, "this is for work and or summer school to request time off, your mother has a slip for your prescription." 

"Prescription?" I asked, "They make prescriptions for being gay?"

"No, it's for anxiety and depression. It'll keep you from feeling rage, or sadness in the prescribed periods." 

"Oh." I said as I walked towards the door. My mother nodded and said the thank you's as I walked into the lobby and out the front door. I opened my mother's car door and got in. She climbed in a few minutes later and she started crying. I felt like I should comfort her, but wanted nothing more than to make her realize what she'd done to me. 

"How did this happen?" 

"Oh, I don't know," I said in the bitch pitch, "probably the multiple guys, unstable house, unbelievable pressure to be as perfect as Viper, and the first person to every show me passion and love was a girl." I said bitterly and turned on the radio. "Let's go home." 

"Alright." She started the car and made the short drive. She pulled into a gas station, and looked at me for a minute. "Do you want anything?"

"I'm starving, would you buy me a sub?"

"Come in and pick it out." She got out and slammed the door. I tucked the hospital johnny into my jeans and fixed my hair a bit. I got out and walked into the store, getting the look from everybody. I shut my eyes and sighed. 

"Welcome to Subway, what can I get for you?" I ordered my usual and the lady printed my receipt. I met my mother at the register and she paid. When we got back to the car, I climbed in and ate my sandwhich in record time. My mother was silent as we drove and when we reached the house I went straight to my room. I turned my phone on and read the text messages from Savannah asking where the hell I was, and if I was okay. I sent her a text back, 

"I'm home now. I'm fine. Come over and I'll explain." I went to the shower and started the water on high, and let it scortch my skin. I washed quickly and went into my room and put the comfiest clothes I could find on. I went to the kitchen to get a bottle of water and was greeted by Cecilia. 

"You're home!" She smiled. 

"Yeah, hey listen. My friends Savannah's coming over, if she get's here while I'm upstairs; send her up. Alright?" 

"Sure." She said. I grabbed a bottle of apple juice and headed back into my room. I laid down on my bed and whimpered. My body was sore and I felt like sleeping for the rest of my life. My mother went to fill the pill prescription and I laid in bed alone. I waited forever for Savannah to show up before realizing I had a text message. 

"Competition in St. Pete, try to have fun without me. I'll see you when I come home." I decided the purpose to wait up was terminated. I dozed until I fell into sleep. 

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