My Brother's Girlfriend

Chapter Sixteen

"My friends on a date over there, I'm just nosy." I tried to lie smooth- like. 

"Ah, I was pretty convinced that was your boyfriend."

"No, I don't have one of those." The waitress brought the drinks over and I took a shot quickly. He smiled at me with only half of his mouth and I felt my heart throb. 

"Quick to answer, there's something you're not telling me. Am I going to get assaulted in a back alley because you really do have one?"

"No," I sighed, "I just, it's been a long day."

"I'm sorry." He touched my arm across the table, "Anything you want to tell me?"

"I could, but then the insanely cute British boy wouldn't be flirting with me anymore."

"I think I might be." He smiled and moved a bit closer. "You're the insanely cute American." 

"You really want to know?" 

"Of course I do." He smiled and traced his finger across my hands gently. 

"I think I'm gay, but I might like boys too." He laughed and I hated myself for saying it in the first place. I tipped back a few more of the shots and he paid the bill with cash and exact change. "You know, that's a sign you're a criminal." I sipped the next shot gently. 

"Who's to say I'm not?" He rose from the table and cut a beeline for the exit. I watched him go and thought about the world's image of gay's and bisexuals and sighed. "Well?" He called.

"Well what?"

"Are you coming to find out if you're gay or not?" I shot from the table and nearly ran across the bar. Not because I was all that interested, because I wanted him to be quiet about things. He looked at me and smirked. i wanted to hit him. 

"How?" I asked. He didn't answer, just gripped my wrist tightly. His knuckles were cracked, scarred, and bruised. I groaned. Maybe he was a criminal. He led me into a back alley way and picked me up, setting me on top of a dumpster. Classy, I thought as he began to kiss me. I closed my eyes and let him work his way down my neck and let his hands rub my bare thighs. He slipped a hand up my shirt and pressed his finger tips into my back and I felt his nails gently in my skin kneading much like a cat would. I let my hands trace up his face to better hold him to me when I kissed him and found myself disappointed that it wasn't smooth and feminine. I knew at that point there was no hope for me, I was gay. I pushed him back a step but he held to me tighter. "Stop!" I muttered but he didn't listen. I shoved at him harder, and finally he broke from me.

"Whatever, bitch." He walked back into the bar to try some similar pick up lines on girls who were straight. I knew better than to walk in behind him looking for Carter, so I started walking. The more fresh air I got, the better I thought. I was about to have sex with a guy in an alley, who's name I don't even know. I shut my eyes and pitied myself for the hell my life was becoming when my phone rang. I scrambled for it and finally pulled the screen up. It was Blake's contact picture and I cleared my throat to keep myself from sounding slurred or drunk. 

"Hello?" I asked.

"Hey," he sounded empathetic, "I wanted to tell you something."

"Tell me what?" I tried to sound some-what interested in it. 

"I'm the one who told, not your dad or Cecilia."

"What? How did you even-"

"I saw you and the blonde holding hands and walking. Then you kissed her, I didn't mean to-"

"Yeah, fuck you." I hung up the phone and sighed. My life would be better if he hadn't been in it. If he hadn't known. If he didn't tell. If he wasn't my mom's fiance. I resisted the urge to punch the metal street signs and kept walking. My feet were already tired, and I felt the cut on one of them throbbing in the heels but knew better than to take them off. I was about a quarter of a mile away from the bar, and a mile and half away from home when the car pulled up. I thought for certain it'd be mom or Blake with their tracking apps and worry but was proven wrong by the clean shaven guy in a polo. 

"Hey!" He called.

"I was already practically dry humped in an alley tonight by one horny fucker, I don't need two."

"You're right, you're drunk and you need a ride somewhere." His voice had sounded more masculine when he was yelling and I studied him now and realized that he wasn't a drunk guy driving illegally through the streets, or a kid from a bar somewhere else, but a person like me.

"No, you're the one who's right. But I'm not supposed to ride with strangers." I got closer and opened the door. He laughed to himself.

"I'm Levi, I'm eighteen, I'm gay, and I'm engaged to Brandon."

"HM," I grunted, "I'm Vivian, I'm gay too- I think. Well, I'm pretty sure. I'm seventeen, and drunk. I live on Beach Drive, please take me home."

"Sure." He put the car in gear and headed in the general direction of my house. I shut my eyes and drifted in and out the entire way. When I pulled in Viper was in the driveway. He walked over to the car and Levi rolled the window down and motioned towards me in the passenger side. 

"Fuck." I heard him mutter. Viper jogged around to my side, and opened the door. He put me over his shoulder and the sudden motion made me want to vomit. I resisted the urge and as Viper turned to bring me inside I met eyes with my savior. 

"Bye Levi!" I called, "I'll miss you!" He smiled and waved goodbye to me like he'd give a fuck where I was tomorrow. I felt childlike and fragile as he maneuvered me through the house to my room. He sat me down and I started to cry. He turned back from the door and studied me then sighed. 

"Viva," he whispered, "what's wrong?"

"My life is hell," I groaned, "I want to escape it."

"Things will get better," he chided me gently, "I promise. Scouts honor." He held his hands up the way a boy scout would and honored the promise. I laughed slightly because it was an inside joke between the two of us. He had been a boy scout back when we were in elementary school and hadn't been one since. He lasted roughly two days, and still used the honor code, and wore the one badge he'd ever gotten on his backpack. I chuckled and he waved to someone in the hallway. Savannah crept into my room and wiped my tears. 

"I thought you were with that boy?" I asked.

"I saw you leave with a scum," she sat next to me and unzipped my hooded jacket. Feelings twinged in my stomach but I ignored them, "I know better."

"I ruined it for you again." I sighed.

"No, I got his number. If I like him when I'm sober, I'll go out with him without my babysitting obligation."

"I always do this to you." I whined and she pulled the belt from my shorts. Slowly, she took piece by piece off and replaced it with something comfortable. She tugged my hair back, and I felt sick. I ran to my little bathroom and puked on cue. Savannah walked in and wiped my mouth then helped me brush my teeth. She guided me to the bed and laid me down to tuck me in. "I'm sorry."

"You're welcome." She said and kissed my forehead.

"Savannah?" I asked.

"Yes?" She asked me back gently.

"I'm sorry I'm so terrible."

"You're not terrible. You're just a handful."

"MM, a handful of what?" I asked, not sure what I was saying at this point.

"Trouble." She laughed as she walked to the door. "Text me in the morning if you remember any of this. I love you."

"I love you too," I said, "oh, Savannah?"

"Yes?"

"One more thing."

"Anything." She said.

"I'm gay, not bisexual, not confused. I'm gay." She giggled and shut the door slowly and laughed her way out of the room. She might have thought I was too drunk to realize what she probably already knew, but it was the first time I'd ever said it out loud. It was the first time I'd ever 'come out' to anybody and it wouldn't be the last. Saying it prided myself to be more open, and I couldn't wait to. After I slept the hang over off. I shut my eyes and laid still careful to not turn or twist for fear of the terrible tasting vile that would flow from my throat. The birds were chirping lightly already, and I knew if I didn't sleep now, I never would. I missed feeling Cecilia next to me, and tried my hardest to pretend she was there. It was a failed attempt, met by a humble success as her sweet face graced my dreams with promises of a better tomorrow.