Dear Diary || Completed

Reasons

8th January, 2018

Dear Diary,
I couldn't stop thinking about you in school today. I was so upset, for no apparent reason, and I kept on thinking a about what I should tell you today. The only other person who knows about you is my older brother, Jin. I asked for his opinion and he told me to share what I think might be the reason for my sadness.

Honestly, there is no particular reason. I am just tired of life as it is. I wish I could do something to spice things up, but I know nothing will help because I will get tired of anything new. They say change is the only constant, and I suppose that is the ideology my life revolves around right now. However, nothing changes fast enough anymore. Everything is the same. My morning routine, the subjects we study, the shows we watch. It's like I'm on this Burma bridge that goes on and on and on with no indication of a new horizon.

It's funny that I feel this way. All my life I have wanted a routine that I can stick to, and now that I have one, it seems as though it exists to poison my existence. I suppose it is up to me to make my life more colourful, but I seem to lack all motivation at this point.

My younger brother, Jungkook used to tell us all to lead happier lives. He was the nicest person anyone could have ever met. The boy could never bear to see his siblings in pain. He was our little sister's hero. He was the light of our life. He would never let us sleep without making sure we had a smile on our faces. I don't even know if he did it deliberately. I think that he was born selfless, with the capability of making people smile. I miss him. We miss him. Every time I think of him, I can't breathe because the guilt seems to weigh down on me like a physical pressure. Everyone tells me that it was not my fault he turned away from us and left. I wish I could accept that. I wish I could turn back time and take back all that was said. I wish I had stopped him from walking out the front door. I wish our places could be reversed. I wish I had left, and he had stayed. Everyone would have been so much happier.

Yours, full of guilt,
Min Yoongi

A/N: what do you think happened between Jungkook and Yoongi? Why did Jungkook leave? Look forward to your comments! 💕❤️💕