You Think This Is Hard? - A Hunger Games/ Glee crossover fanfiction

Chapter 10: What's Happening To Me?

Chapter 10: What’s Happening To Me?

“Look who decided to turn up,” sneers Haymitch.

I glare at him and sit down next to Rachel, who still looks angry about her argument with Effie this morning. Truth be told, I had almost forgotten about that, what with the life changing letter and all, it was kind of pushed from my mind.

“We’ll be arriving in the Capitol this afternoon!” Says Effie excitedly, “You will absolutely love it!”

Despite the position I am in, I can’t help but feel excited about seeing the Capitol.

“I’m sure they will,” says Haymitch sourly. I kind of feel sorry for Effie, having to deal with Haymitch’s negative attitude year after year.

She purses her brightly painted lips and shoots our mentor a look.

“It is beautiful!” She continues wistfully, “And the food is to die for! Even better than what you’re having now!”

The food is to die for? Well good, since the only reason we are getting to taste it is because we are being sent to die. I can see that her clueless statement has made both Rachel and Haymitch even angrier than they previously were.

The rest of breakfast passes in silence, with the only noise being the clatter of silverware.

I am the first one to finish, so I content myself with staring out the train window. We are travelling too fast for me to make out anything except blurs. My brain feels close to exploding. There is so much going on, so much to process, that it feels like I could have a complete emotional breakdown at any moment. I was already overwhelmed because of the fact that I was Reaped, and then there was the boy from four, Blaine, who just confused my emotions completely, and then I found the letter and everything was turned upside down. No, actually, it was turned upside down, spun around a dozen times and thrown off a cliff. That sounds about right.

I never imagined that my mum would be one to rebel. She always seemed so… happy. Up until her dying day, it seemed like she didn’t have a care in the world. But I guess that was all just a mask. Like me, she must have been quite a skilled liar.

I wonder if the things I think sometimes, about the Capitol and the Games, are things that were subconsciously drilled into me from a young age. I don’t remember much from before my mother died, except for a handful of happy memories, but from what I learnt from the letter, it wouldn’t be surprising. I mean the last letter she wrote to me was full of stuff about a rebellion, when she clearly knew she was dying. Was that really how she wanted me to remember her? As a fierce rebel, who hated the Capitol and would stop at nothing to bring it down? Maybe so.

But I really didn’t want that to be the way things were. I kind of wish I hadn’t found the letter. Yes, it was a big eye opener about so many things, but I want to remember my mum as someone who was gentle and kind, and would sing me to sleep, and who wouldn’t hurt a fly. God it’s all so confusing.

I feel a hand on my wrist, making me jump.

“Sorry,” Rachel says, “I didn’t mean to scare you, but what’s that?”

“What?” I ask.

“In your hand…” She says slowly.

I look down to see that I am holding the watch. I must have been caressing it. I was too engrossed in my thoughts to even notice.

“Nothing,” I say a bit too quickly, shoving it back into my pocket.

She looks at me suspiciously.