𝘚𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘋𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 «Zaylena»

51 ; Revised

I sat in the study hall, trying to focus on up coming assignments I had, while trying to take notes but who the fuck was I kidding? I was a mess, I felt numb to the world around me, people walked around and smiled with their friends and significant others, while I just sat back and watching the world move on without me.
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My heart felt heavy and I just wanted to go back to bed, I couldn't even focus on school work of any sort. This wasn't like me at all. I've never felt this way, not even when I "broke up" with Ethan. I just wanted to cry and cry and continue crying until I felt nothing at all. I didn't want to feel this kind of pain anymore, I just wanted it to go away. I hated it, I hated it so much.
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My hair was a mess and I just pushed it behind my way and plugged in my earphones into my phone and listened to music. I felt like I haven't slept in days, and my eyes just wanted to shut right there. I took an earbud out when I noticed Adam stood in front of me with a smile and mouth something to me. "Hi Adam." I said with a forced smile.
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He frowned and sat down in the chair across from me. "What's wrong are you alright?" He questioned.
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"No Adam, no, nothing's alright." I brought my hands up to my face and just began crying.
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I hear a shift in chairs and felt a presence beside me, comforting me, my head collided with Adam's chest and his arms wrapped around me. "Hey, hey." He said. "What's wrong?" He caresses my back.
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"You probably aren't gonna care, why would you." I lifted my shoulders carelessly wiping my tears from my face. "You might even be happy it happened...I don't know." I rambled on.
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"Seeing you cry is nothing to be happy about?" He said. "Where would you get that idea?" He whispered.
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"Well I know you and Zayn don't get along for one-..." I continued.
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"Hey, hey, seriously what happened? I know we've been distant lately but I would like to think we're still friends." He smiled.
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"Zayn and I...we're not together anymore." I whispered. His eyes widen at my words. I wiped my tears, it had seemed like I was crying three days straight none stop. "He lied to me about lots of things." I cried.
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"Oh Selena." He whispered. "I'm sorry." He admitted.
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I sniffled. "No, I'm sorry." I admit. "I'm sorry for the way I treated you, you didn't deserve it." I said. "I failed to realize what a great guy you were, I was blindsided." I sigh in frustration. "He never loved me." I whispered. "I feel so fucking stupid."
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"Well judging by the way he would fend for you with tooth and nail, I would think otherwise." He admitted. "What did he lie to you about if it's ok to know?" He questioned.
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"Everything, Adam everything." I covered my face with my hands.
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"It's ok if you don't want to talk about it, but don't feel like you're alone." He comforted me. "I'm here if you need to talk, maybe even vent." He encouraged with a smile. " I'm a great listener." He added.
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"I just don't want you to feel pressured to be forced to listen to my emotional baggage." I chuckled bringing light to the conversation.
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"No not at all." He moved his head side to side. "As long as you promise to listen to mine." He joked.
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"Really?" I questioned. "Who's got you up late at night?" I question.
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"Selena, you really don't want to know." He laughed breathlessly. "I'm so in love with her but she doesn't think she's good enough for me." He lifts his shoulders carelessly.
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"You shouldn't give up, if you really like her, you should tell her." I smile. "If you really love her, show her." I add.
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"Believe me I'm trying, but she's just surrounded herself with a barrier of emotion proof walls, to keep me out." He lifts his shoulders. "But I'm patient." He smiles.
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"Well one of us has to have a happy ending, if it's not me, then it has to be you." I admit and he smiles.
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"Don't sell yourself short, I'm sure there is some lucky guy out there just waiting for a girl like you to come around." He nudges me, and I smile.
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"The problem is I don't think I'll ever be able to love some other guy the way I loved Zayn." I admit.
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Jackie's Point of View

I sighed in frustration and pushed strands of my long black hair behind my ear. He was a mess, a literal emotional mess. How long had he been like this? For three days straight? None stop drinking for that matter? His whole apartment was trashed and the room he slept in had half full and empty shattered glass bottles of booze laying everywhere. Zayn begin shifting around in the bed, I took the opportunity to pull at the bedsheet to fully wake him up.
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He frowned and opened his eyes for a second, to see who it was. "Go away Jaqueline." He moaned in agony.
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"Zayn seriously this shit again?" I pointed at the floor looking around before being my attention back to him.
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He sighed. "What the fuck do you want me to do?" He exclaimed angrily. "Leave me the fuck alone."
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"Have you been drinking for three days straight?" I questioned. "You have bottles everywhere? The apartment looks like someone ransacked it." I exclaimed.
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"This place means nothing to me anymore, without her here." He whispered as he slowly began sitting up on the bed. "I lost her Jackie." He covered his face with his hands as he leaned against the head of the bed. "I fucking lost her." His tone grew small, was he going to cry?
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I sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. "Did you really think, this shit was not going to blow over the way it did?" I try and snap Zayn back into reality. "Lucy was her best friend, Zayn." I remind him. "You think shit was gonna run smoothly and Lucy was going to be ok with you dating one of her best friends?" I give him a reality check. "She used every opportunity to fuck you over."
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"I swear to fucking god I damn the day she fucking cross my life." He says angrily. "I regret it all, I regret loving her the way I fucking did, I hate it!" He exclaimed angrily. "And I hate her."
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"How the fuck did you even end up sleeping together?" I question. "When Levi called me to tell me everything, he was a nervous mess, he didn't know what to do, when he saw the two of you, there just lying in your bed together." I recall the horrid image.
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"Jackie I don't know, ok!" He exclaims. "I genuinely don't fucking know." He lifts his shoulders carelessly. "All I remember was going back to the frat house to confront her because she had approached Selena at the frat party earlier because Selena ended up bringing up the stupid necklace I gave her." He explains. "I thought she might have told her something so I just need to know what, and I just remember feeling uneasy and blacking out for the entire night."
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My eyes widen. "She found the necklace?"
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"Yes Jaqueline, yes." He repeats. "Where the hell were you that night? Levi told me you got shit faced drunk at pub the night before? What's going on with you Jackie?" He questioned.
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"This isn't about me, this is about you." I point at him. "And the hole you dug yourself in." I recall.
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"Ok don't tell me, but I will find out what it is, sooner or later." He threatened. "We've never kept shit from each other and suddenly you don't want to tell me anything?"
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I roll my eyes and brush over the topic. "Anyways, did you notice anything weird that night when you went back to the frat to confront her?" I question his recollection.
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"Just that Lucy and Chris were hanging out the whole night, they whispered shit in each other's ears and she kept looking at me weirdly." He lifted his shoulders carelessly. "And Levi handed me my drink that I left by the sofa when Selena and I had arrived earlier."
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"That fucking bitch spiked your drink." I jump to the conclusion but I know it had to be, there was no other explanation. "That fucking bitch..." I said. "There's no way Chris wasn't involved." I nod my head side to side.
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"You really think that's what happened?" He questions my theory.
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"It makes perfect sense." I admit. "They both fucking hate you, and they both slept together to get back at you." I say. "It adds up."
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"I don't fucking know anymore, I just want Selena back." He admitted. "Jackie you have to help me get her back." He grabbed my hand not letting go.
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"She's so broken inside." I admit to him. "She hasn't stopped crying for three days straight." I tell him. "I try cheering her up anyway I can, but she just shuts down completely sometimes." I look at him as he follows my every word. "I sometimes catch her crying in the middle of the night and all I can go is comfort her." I lift my shoulders.
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"She's never going to forgive me is she?" He questions.
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"By the looks of it?" I tell him truthfully. "It's gonna be really difficult."
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"Jaqueline I love her." He said. "I fucking love her." He repeated pulling at roots of his hair. "I can't live without her." He admitted.
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"Yes, but you should've just told her the truth, about how you and her once upon a time best friend had a thing that is no more because she was a soul sucking witch." I mention.
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"I bet you right now prince fucking charming just can't wait to swoop in to her rescue." He said annoyingly.
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"Prince fucking charming?" I questioned him weirdly at his choice of words.
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"Adam?" He confirmed. "Mr. Perfect told Selena and I he wasn't interested in her anymore because he found someone else." He explains and my eyes widen. "I don't trust him, and I know right now she must be crying in his arms." He mocked. "He must be telling her, how he was right about me all along and she should've listened." He rolls his eyes.
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I clear my throat. Not wanting to sound out of question. "Maybe they're really just friends?"
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"Look at him and look a her." He pointed out. "They are perfect for each other."
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"You are never going to get anywhere if you keep comparing yourself to him." I moved my head side to side.
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"Jackie what qualities do I have? Compared to him!" He tosses his hands in the air. "I'm just some fucked up piece of shit who can't get his life together." He sighed. "I don't want to be in a world without her Jaqueline." He admits. "I've loved Selena since the moment I laid eyes on her that New Years Day." He confesses. "She was all I thought about at any given hour of the day, and now that's all gone." He lifts his shoulders carelessly, reaching for the half empty bottle of whiskey.
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I click my tongue and snatch it from his grasp. "You're gonna drink yourself to death like this." I exclaim. "I will not go through this again with you." I opposed.
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"This time it's different." He says. "I was just confused the first time because I didn't know what I truly wanted. I was mentally and emotionally played." He says. "Now I don't have Selena, and my life without her literally meaningless." He lifts his shoulders carelessly.
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"Well you're never going to get her back if you keep beating yourself to the gut, and if you keep this shit up I'm calling your mum." I threaten him. "Then she will call James and he will come here and then it will end up twice as bad for you." I point at him. "I know you don't want that."
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"Of course you would, you and him have such great contact." He reminds of the incident a few months ago.
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"Well you're not leaving me much of a choice." I told him.
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He rolls his eyes. "He's gonna show how here anyways when he realizes that I'm not going to class like I have been." He admits. "He tried to tell me something that according to him was insanely important" He lifted his shoulders carelessly. "Everything he says just goes in one ear and out of the other." He sighs.
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My guess was that James was trying to confess to Zayn his long awaited secret, but it was just Zayn who wasn't willing to sit and listen. It was a start but it wasn't enough, not for me at least.
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I clear my throat. "Maybe you should hear him out for once." I said lifting my shoulders.
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He eyed me weirdly. "Just because you've established a friendship with him now you want me to?" He defended. "Why don't the three of us, meet up for some tea and brunch too?"
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I rolled my eyes. "I don't know how else to help you then."
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"I don't need any help" He nodded his head side to side. "I just need her." He drove through conversation back to Selena. "I'm nothing without her." He lifted his shoulders. "Nothing." He repeated.
***
I made my way back to campus, after leaving Zayn in his mess. I couldn't really much for him, but check up on him every day until he felt like leaving the apartment. He was like these when Lucy left him and it wasn't until I had fed up they I forcibly made him leave his dorm room.
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It was only a matter of time before his father would come knocking on his door, questioning his absence in lectures. So I didn't have to do much, his father was a well recognized businessman in London, and due to his status and privileges, he had people watching Zayn.
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I arrived to the girls dormitories, and I hoped that I didn't cross Lucy, because I don't know what would be of me if I did. Zayn didn't willingly lie with her in his bed. He wouldn't do that. I know him. More like she snaked her way into his space and gave him something so he'd blackout, I suspected Chris and Lucy both had something to do with this.
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Once I made it up to my floor with the bit of Selena's stuff I could carry on my person, I walked across the hallway, and went to get my keys and open the door myself incase Selena had been out. I gave her a spare or my dorm key. I noticed a man standing in the doorway. My eyes widen, as Selena smiled at the man and shook his hand.
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They both caught notice of my presence and realized it was Zayn's father who stood in the doorway. "James..." I said breathlessly and eyed Selena who held a smile on her face. "What are you doing here?"
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"Well since you haven't answered to any of my emails or calls for a few days now, we need to talk." He said.
***