Dear mom, I'm sorry

• Let me save you ..

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Abu Bakrah reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, and he said:
"Shall I not tell you about the worst enormities? They are three: idolatry  against Allah, disobedience to parents, and false witness."

Source: 📕Sahih Bukhari 2511

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Fatima's POV

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"Dear Aisha, having you was such a beautiful experience. You illuminated my life the first day you came. You cried a lot and your dad said that you got it from me since I'm a cry-baby, lol."

"The first word that came out of your mouth was 'mommy'. I remember being exceedingly happy as your dad was funnily shocked because he wasn't expecting that." 

"I comforted you when you were scared. Hugged you when you were sad; kissed your boo-boos when you fooled around. Held your hand as you got your shots; then took you for ice cream that hit the spot."

"I whipped your tears away when you got your heart-broken. Made you laugh to see you smile again and talked with you to let you know that you were not alone."

"When your dad left, things have changed. You got carried away and went astray. I was hurt but you didn't care anymore ..."

"No matter how hard I fought to get you back, you still turned your back on me and chose your friends over me ..."

"But your mom is an extreme loving person to hold it against you. I've forgiven you and always will because you're my daughter and I just want the best for you."

"Nobody's perfect, and I know I've hurt you with my words but it was only for your best, because seeing you happy is what I crave for."

"If you read this, I want you to be strong and happy, and always keep in my mind that I'd never let you down, I love you and cherish you enormously."

"I've never gotten the time to tell you this but -

" I admire the woman you've become."

"I will miss you deeply and no matter where you'll be - I'll always look after you."

"I'm sorry I haven't been the kind of mother you'd have wished for."

"I'm sorry that your life hasn't been easy because of me, I am sincerely sorry for not giving you enough love ..."

"I -"

"I ..."

My hands started suddenly being shaky, causing me to drop the pen I have been written with.

The white square board hanging on the wall was indicating green as a horrible and painful was taking over me. Getting weaker I collapsed harshly on the cold floor as I tried to take-off the cables that were linked to my arms.

Dressed in a white hospital dress, the nurse rushed in and stuck her eyes instinctively back and forth between the tickling green light and me.

"Are you okay"? She echoed, encircling her arm around my shoulder. I covered my ears painfully. "I just want this to stop"!

"It is normal," she reassured. "It is just indicating that your tension is good and your Ph blood is ready," She continued. "The surgeons are waiting to speak to you."